as Art, the Divine Spark, the world, motherhood, good breeding, the Universe, the Creator, or anything else that happens to strike her imagination as sounding intellectually important.  She has more than common imagination and no more than common conception and penetration; so that she is always on the high horse about words and always in the perambulator about things.  Considering herself clever, thoughtful, and superior to ordinary weaknesses and prejudices, she recklessly attaches herself to clever men on that understanding, with the result that they are first delighted, then exasperated, and finally bored.  When marrying Reginald she told her friends that there was a great deal in him which needed bringing out.  If she were a middle-aged man she would be the terror of his club.  Being a pretty young woman, she is forgiven everything, proving that “Tout comprendre, c’est tout pardonner” is an error, the fact being that the secret of forgiving everything is to understand nothing.

She runs in fussily, full of her own importance, and swoops on Lesbia, who is much less disposed to spoil her than Mrs Bridgenorth is.  But Leo affects a special intimacy with Lesbia, as of two thinkers among the Philistines.

Leo [to Lesbia, kissing her] Good morning. [Coming to Mrs Bridgenorth] How do, Alice? [Passing on towards the hearth] Why so gloomy, General? [Reginald rises between her and the General] Oh, Rejjy!  What will the King’s Proctor say?

Reginald.  Damn the King’s Proctor!

Leo.  Naughty.  Well, I suppose I must kiss you; but dont any of you tell. [She kisses him.  They can hardly believe their eyes].  Have you kept all your promises?

Reginald.  Oh, dont begin bothering about those—­

Leo [insisting] Have?  You?  Kept?  Your?  Promises?  Have you rubbed your head with the lotion every night?

Reginald.  Yes, yes.  Nearly every night.

Leo.  Nearly!  I know what that means.  Have you worn your liver pad?

The general [solemnly] Leo:  forgiveness is one of the most beautiful traits in a woman’s nature; but there are things that should not be forgiven to a man.  When a man knocks a woman down [Leo gives a little shriek of laughter and collapses on a chair next Mrs Bridgenorth, on her left]

Reginald [sardonically] The man that would raise his hand to a woman, save in the way of a kindness, is unworthy the name of Bridgenorth. [He sits down at the end of the table nearest the hearth].

The general [much huffed] Oh, well, if Leo does not mind, of course I have no more to say.  But I think you might, out of consideration for the family, beat your wife in private and not in the presence of the gardener.

Reginald [out of patience] Whats the good of beating your wife unless theres a witness to prove it afterwards?  You dont suppose a man beats his wife for the fun of it, do you?  How could she have got her divorce if I hadnt beaten her?  Nice state of things, that!