Various Doings in the West

The Tobermory was no ship for passengers.  Its decks were littered with a hundred oddments, so that a man could barely walk a step without tacking, and my bunk was simply a shelf in the frowsty little saloon, where the odour of ham and eggs hung like a fog.  I joined her at Greenock and took a turn on deck with the captain after tea, when he told me the names of the big blue hills to the north.  He had a fine old copper-coloured face and side-whiskers like an archbishop, and, having spent all his days beating up the western seas, had as many yarns in his head as Peter himself.

‘On this boat,’ he announced, ’we don’t ken what a day may bring forth.  I may put into Colonsay for twa hours and bide there three days.  I get a telegram at Oban and the next thing I’m awa ayont Barra.  Sheep’s the difficult business.  They maun be fetched for the sales, and they’re dooms slow to lift.  So ye see it’s not what ye call a pleasure trip, Maister Brand.’

Indeed it wasn’t, for the confounded tub wallowed like a fat sow as soon as we rounded a headland and got the weight of the south-western wind.  When asked my purpose, I explained that I was a colonial of Scots extraction, who was paying his first visit to his fatherland and wanted to explore the beauties of the West Highlands.  I let him gather that I was not rich in this world’s goods.

‘Ye’ll have a passport?’ he asked.  ‘They’ll no let ye go north o’ Fort William without one.’

Amos had said nothing about passports, so I looked blank.

‘I could keep ye on board for the whole voyage,’ he went on, ’but ye wouldna be permitted to land.  If ye’re seekin’ enjoyment, it would be a poor job sittin’ on this deck and admirin’ the works o’ God and no allowed to step on the pier-head.  Ye should have applied to the military gentlemen in Glesca.  But ye’ve plenty o’ time to make up your mind afore we get to Oban.  We’ve a heap o’ calls to make Mull and Islay way.’

The purser came up to inquire about my ticket, and greeted me with a grin.

‘Ye’re acquaint with Mr Gresson, then?’ said the captain.  ’Weel, we’re a cheery wee ship’s company, and that’s the great thing on this kind o’ job.’

I made but a poor supper, for the wind had risen to half a gale, and I saw hours of wretchedness approaching.  The trouble with me is that I cannot be honestly sick and get it over.  Queasiness and headache beset me and there is no refuge but bed.  I turned into my bunk, leaving the captain and the mate smoking shag not six feet from my head, and fell into a restless sleep.  When I woke the place was empty, and smelt vilely of stale tobacco and cheese.  My throbbing brows made sleep impossible, and I tried to ease them by staggering upon deck.  I saw a clear windy sky, with every star as bright as a live coal, and a heaving waste of dark waters running to ink-black hills.  Then a douche of spray caught me and sent me down the companion to my bunk again, where I lay for hours trying to make a plan of campaign.