something to change and to improve in the pose of
the head, the glance of the eye or the expression of
the mouth. But still I lacked courage to put
the work in hand, for it seemed too audacious to attempt
to give reality to the glorious image in my soul, by
the aid of gray clay and pale cold marble; to reproduce
it so that the perfect work should delight the eye
of sense, no less than the image enshrined in my breast
delights my inward eye. At the same time I was
not idle, I gained the prize for the model of the
lions, and if I have succeeded with the Good Shepherd
blessing the flock, which is for the sarcophagus of
Comes, and if the master could praise the expression
of devoted tenderness in the look of the Redeemer,
I know—nay, do not interrupt me, mother,
for what I felt was a pure emotion and no sin—I
know that it was because I was myself so full of love,
that I was enabled to inspire the very stone with
love. At last I had no peace, and even without
my father’s orders I must have returned home;
then I saw her again, and found her even more lovely
than the image which reigned in my soul. I heard
her voice, and her silvery bell-like laughter—and
then—and then—. You know very
well what I learned yesterday. The unworthy wife
of an unworthy husband, the woman Sirona, is gone
from me for ever, and I was striving to drive her
image from my soul, to annihilate it and dissipate
it—but in vain! and by degrees a wonderful
stress of creative power came upon me. I hastily
placed the lamps, took the clay in my hand, and feature
by feature I brought forth with bitter joy the image
that is deeply graven in my heart, believing that
thus I might be released from the spell. There
is the fruit which was ripened in my heart, but there,
where it so long has dwelt, I feel a dismal void,
and if the husk which so long tenderly enfolded this
image were to wither and fall asunder, I should not
wonder at it.—To that thing there clings
the best part of my life.”
“Enough!” exclaimed Dorothea, interrupting
her son who stood before her in great agitation and
with trembling lips. “God forbid that that
mask there should destroy your life and soul.
I suffer nothing impure within my house, and you should
not in your heart. That which is evil can never
more be fair, and however lovely the face there may
look to you, it looks quite as repulsive to me when
I reflect that it probably smiled still more fascinatingly
on some strolling beggar. If the Gaul brings her
back I will turn her out of my house, and I will destroy
her image with my own hands if you do not break it
in pieces on the spot.”
Dorothea’s eyes were swimming in tears as she
spoke these words. She had felt with pride and
emotion during her son’s speech how noble and
high-minded he was, and the idea that this rare and
precious treasure should be spoilt or perhaps altogether
ruined for the sake of a lost woman, drove her to
desperation, and filled her motherly heart with indignation.