The Emperor — Complete eBook

Georg Ebers
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 676 pages of information about The Emperor — Complete.

The Emperor — Complete eBook

Georg Ebers
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 676 pages of information about The Emperor — Complete.

Hadrian had heard in what way Antinous had perished.  He had required Mastor to repeat to him more than once the last words of his faithful companion and neither to add nor to omit a single syllable.  Hadrian’s accurate memory cherished them all and now he had sat till dawn and from dawn till the sun had reached the meridian, repeating them again and again to him self.  He sat gloomily brooding and would neither eat nor drink.  The misfortune which had threatened him had fallen—­and what a grief was this!  If indeed Fate would accept the anguish he now felt in the place of all other suffering it might have had in store for him he might look forward to years free from care, but he felt as though he would rather have spent the remainder of his existence in sorrow and misery with his Antinous by his side than enjoy, without him, all that men call happiness, peace and prosperity.

Sabina and her escort had arrived-a host of men; but he had strictly ordered that no one, not even his wife, was to be admitted to his presence.  The comfort of tears was denied him, but his grief gripped him at the heart, clouded his brain and made hint so irritably sensitive that an unfamiliar voice, though even at a distance, disturbed him and made him angry.

The party who had arrived by water were not allowed to occupy the tents which had been pitched for them not far from his, because he desired to be alone, quite alone, with his anguish of spirit.  Mastor, whom he had hitherto regarded rather a useful chattel than as a human creature, now grew nearer to him—­had he not been the one witness of his darling’s strange disappearance.  Towards the close of this, the most miserable night he had ever known, the slave asked him whether he should not fetch the physician from the ships, he looked so pale; but Hadrian forbade it.

“If I could only cry like a woman,” he said, “or like other fathers whose sons are snatched away by death, that would be the best remedy.  You poor souls will have a bad time now, for the sun of my life has lost its light and the trees by the way-side have lost their verdure.”

When he was alone once more he sat staring into vacancy and muttered to himself: 

“All mankind should mourn with me for if I had been asked yesterday how perfect a beauty might be bestowed on one of their race I could have pointed proudly to you, my faithful boy and have said, ’Beauty like that of the gods.’  Now the crown is cut off from the trunk of the palm and the maimed thing can only be ashamed of its deformity; and if all humanity were but one man it would look like one who has had his right eye torn out.  I will not look on the monsters, lean and fat, that they may not spoil my taste for the true type!  Oh faithful, lovable, beautiful boy!  What a blind, mad fool have you been!  And yet I cannot blame your madness.  You have pierced my soul with the deepest thrust of all and yet I cannot even be angry with you.  Superhuman! godlike was your faithful devotion.  Aye, indeed, it was!” As he thus spoke he rose from his seat and went on resolutely and decidedly: 

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Project Gutenberg
The Emperor — Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.