Obese.—­That is a gastronomical heresy.  Nothing is better than the potatoe; I eat them in every way.

An obese lady.—­Be pleased to send me the Soissons haricots I see at the other end of the table.

I.—­(Having obeyed the order, hummed in a low tone, the well known air:)

“Les Soissonnais sont heureux, Les haricots font chez eux.”

Obese.—­Do not laugh:  it is a real treasure for this country.  Paris gains immensely by it.  I will thank you to pass me the English peas.  When young they are food fit for the gods.

I?—­Anathema on beans and peas.

Obese.—­Bah, for your anathema; you talk as if you were a whole council.  I.—­(To another.) I congratulate you on your good health, it seems to me that you have fattened somewhat, since I last saw you.

Obese.—­I probably owe it to a change of diet.

I.—­How so?

Obese.—­For some time I eat a rich soup for breakfast, and so thick that the spoon would stand up in it.

I.—­(To another.) Madame, if I do not mistake, you will accept a portion of this charlotte?  I will attack it.

Obese.—­No, sir.  I have two things which I prefer.  This gateau of rice and that Savoy biscuit—­I am very fond of sweet things.

I.—­While they talk politics, madame, at the other end of the table, will you take a piece of this tourte a la frangipane?

Obese.—­Yes; I like nothing better than pastry.  We have a pastry-cook in our house as a lodger, and I think my daughter and I eat up all his rent.

I.—­(Looking at the daughter.) You both are benefitted by the diet.  Your daughter is a fine looking young woman.

Obese lady.—­Yes; but there are persons who say she is too fat.

I.—­Ah! those who do so are envious, etc., etc.  By this and similar conversations I elucidate a theory I have formed about the human race, viz:  Greasy corpulence always has, as its first cause, a diet with too much farinacious or feculent substance.  I am sure the same regime will always have the same effect.  Carniverous animals never become fat.  One has only to look at the wolf, jackal, lion, eagle, etc.

Herbiverous animals do not either become fat until age has made repose a necessity.  They, however, fatten quickly when fed on potatoes, farinacious grain, etc.

Obesity is rarely met with among savage nations, or in that class of persons who eat to live, instead of living to eat.

Causes of obesity.

From the preceding observation, the causes of which any one may verify, it is easy to ascertain the principle causes of obesity.

The first is the nature of the individual.  Almost all men are born with predispositions, the impress of which is borne by their faces.  Of every hundred persons who die of diseases of the chest, ninety have dark hair, long faces and sharp noses.  Of every hundred obese persons, ninety have short faces, blue eyes, and pug noses.