While Mr. Stowbody gave a somatic and psychic study of them, Carol reflected, “Are they really so terribly interested in Ella’s tonsils, or even in Ella’s esophagus?  I wonder if I could get them away from personalities?  Let’s risk damnation and try.”

“There hasn’t been much labor trouble around here, has there, Mr. Stowbody?” she asked innocently.

“No, ma’am, thank God, we’ve been free from that, except maybe with hired girls and farm-hands.  Trouble enough with these foreign farmers; if you don’t watch these Swedes they turn socialist or populist or some fool thing on you in a minute.  Of course, if they have loans you can make ’em listen to reason.  I just have ’em come into the bank for a talk, and tell ’em a few things.  I don’t mind their being democrats, so much, but I won’t stand having socialists around.  But thank God, we ain’t got the labor trouble they have in these cities.  Even Jack Elder here gets along pretty well, in the planing-mill, don’t you, Jack?”

“Yep.  Sure.  Don’t need so many skilled workmen in my place, and it’s a lot of these cranky, wage-hogging, half-baked skilled mechanics that start trouble—­reading a lot of this anarchist literature and union papers and all.”

“Do you approve of union labor?” Carol inquired of Mr. Elder.

“Me?  I should say not!  It’s like this:  I don’t mind dealing with my men if they think they’ve got any grievances—­though Lord knows what’s come over workmen, nowadays—­don’t appreciate a good job.  But still, if they come to me honestly, as man to man, I’ll talk things over with them.  But I’m not going to have any outsider, any of these walking delegates, or whatever fancy names they call themselves now—­bunch of rich grafters, living on the ignorant workmen!  Not going to have any of those fellows butting in and telling me how to run my business!”

Mr. Elder was growing more excited, more belligerent and patriotic.  “I stand for freedom and constitutional rights.  If any man don’t like my shop, he can get up and git.  Same way, if I don’t like him, he gits.  And that’s all there is to it.  I simply can’t understand all these complications and hoop-te-doodles and government reports and wage-scales and God knows what all that these fellows are balling up the labor situation with, when it’s all perfectly simple.  They like what I pay ’em, or they get out.  That’s all there is to it!”

“What do you think of profit-sharing?” Carol ventured.

Mr. Elder thundered his answer, while the others nodded, solemnly and in tune, like a shop-window of flexible toys, comic mandarins and judges and ducks and clowns, set quivering by a breeze from the open door: 

“All this profit-sharing and welfare work and insurance and old-age pension is simply poppycock.  Enfeebles a workman’s independence—­and wastes a lot of honest profit.  The half-baked thinker that isn’t dry behind the ears yet, and these suffragettes and God knows what all buttinskis there are that are trying to tell a business man how to run his business, and some of these college professors are just about as bad, the whole kit and bilin’ of ’em are nothing in God’s world but socialism in disguise!  And it’s my bounden duty as a producer to resist every attack on the integrity of American industry to the last ditch.  Yes—­sir!”