The almost imperceptible difference between these two hidden impulses is characteristic of a real difference between the two sexes; it is that men are generally less constant than women, and are sooner weary of success in love.  A woman foresees man’s future inconstancy, and is anxious; it is this which makes her more jealous. [Footnote:  In France it is the wives who first emancipate themselves; and necessarily so, for having very little heart, and only desiring attention, when a husband ceases to pay them attention they care very little for himself.  In other countries it is not so; it is the husband who first emancipates himself; and necessarily so, for women, faithful, but foolish, importune men with their desires and only disgust them.  There may be plenty of exceptions to these general truths; but I still think they are truths.] When his passion begins to cool she is compelled to pay him the attentions he used to bestow on her for her pleasure; she weeps, it is her turn to humiliate herself, and she is rarely successful.  Affection and kind deeds rarely win hearts, and they hardly ever win them back.  I return to my prescription against the cooling of love in marriage.

“It is plain and simple,” I continue.  “It consists in remaining lovers when you are husband and wife.”

“Indeed,” said Emile, laughing at my secret, “we shall not find that hard.”

“Perhaps you will find it harder than you think.  Pray give me time to explain.

“Cords too tightly stretched are soon broken.  This is what happens when the marriage bond is subjected to too great a strain.  The fidelity imposed by it upon husband and wife is the most sacred of all rights; but it gives to each too great a power over the other.  Constraint and love do not agree together, and pleasure is not to be had for the asking.  Do not blush, Sophy, and do not try to run away.  God forbid that I should offend your modesty!  But your fate for life is at stake.  For so great a cause, permit a conversation between your husband and your father which you would not permit elsewhere.

“It is not so much possession as mastery of which people tire, and affection is often more prolonged with regard to a mistress than a wife.  How can people make a duty of the tenderest caresses, and a right of the sweetest pledges of love?  It is mutual desire which gives the right, and nature knows no other.  The law may restrict this right, it cannot extend it.  The pleasure is so sweet in itself!  Should it owe to sad constraint the power which it cannot gain from its own charms?  No, my children, in marriage the hearts are bound, but the bodies are not enslaved.  You owe one another fidelity, but not complaisance.  Neither of you may give yourself to another, but neither of you belongs to the other except at your own will.