not by your ideas or ours, but by the opinion of others.  If it were merely a question of equal merits, I know not what limits to impose on your hopes; but do not let your ambitions outrun your fortune, and remember it is very small.  Although a man worthy of you would not consider this inequality an obstacle, you must do what he would not do; Sophy must follow her mother’s example and only enter a family which counts it an honour to receive her.  You never saw our wealth, you were born in our poverty; you make it sweet for us, and you share it without hardship.  Believe me, Sophy, do not seek those good things we indeed thank heaven for having taken from us; we did not know what happiness was till we lost our money.

“You are so amiable that you will win affection, and you are not go poor as to be a burden.  You will be sought in marriage, it may be by those who are unworthy of you.  If they showed themselves in their true colours, you would rate them at their real value; all their outward show would not long deceive you; but though your judgment is good and you know what merit is when you see it, you are inexperienced and you do not know how people can conceal their real selves.  A skilful knave might study your tastes in order to seduce you, and make a pretence of those virtues which he does not possess.  You would be ruined, Sophy, before you knew what you were doing, and you would only perceive your error when you had cause to lament it.  The most dangerous snare, the only snare which reason cannot avoid, is that of the senses; if ever you have the misfortune to fall into its toils, you will perceive nothing but fancies and illusions; your eyes will be fascinated, your judgment troubled, your will corrupted, your very error will be dear to you, and even if you were able to perceive it you would not be willing to escape from it.  My child, I trust you to Sophy’s own reason; I do not trust you to the fancies of your own heart.  Judge for yourself so long as your heart is untouched, but when you love betake yourself to your mother’s care.

“I propose a treaty between us which shows our esteem for you, and restores the order of nature between us.  Parents choose a husband for their daughter and she is only consulted as a matter of form; that is the custom.  We shall do just the opposite; you will choose, and we shall be consulted.  Use your right, Sophy, use it freely and wisely.  The husband suitable for you should be chosen by you not us.  But it is for us to judge whether he is really suitable, or whether, without knowing it, you are only following your own wishes.  Birth, wealth, position, conventional opinions will count for nothing with us.  Choose a good man whose person and character suit you; whatever he may be in other respects, we will accept him as our son-in-law.  He will be rich enough if he has bodily strength, a good character, and family affection.  His position will be good enough if it is ennobled by virtue.  If everybody blames us, we do not care.  We do not seek the approbation of men, but your happiness.”