With young folks of her own age it is another matter; she requires a different manner to gain their respect, and she knows how to adopt it without dropping the modest ways which become her.  If they themselves are shy and modest, she will gladly preserve the friendly familiarity of youth; their innocent conversation will be merry but suitable; if they become serious they must say something useful; if they become silly, she soon puts a stop to it, for she has an utter contempt for the jargon of gallantry, which she considers an insult to her sex.  She feels sure that the man she seeks does not speak that jargon, and she will never permit in another what would be displeasing to her in him whose character is engraved on her heart.  Her high opinion of the rights of women, her pride in the purity of her feelings, that active virtue which is the basis of her self-respect, make her indignant at the sentimental speeches intended for her amusement.  She does not receive them with open anger, but with a disconcerting irony or an unexpected iciness.  If a fair Apollo displays his charms, and makes use of his wit in the praise of her wit, her beauty, and her grace; at the risk of offending him she is quite capable of saying politely, “Sir, I am afraid I know that better than you; if we have nothing more interesting to talk about, I think we may put an end to this conversation.”  To say this with a deep courtesy, and then to withdraw to a considerable distance, is the work of a moment.  Ask your lady-killers if it is easy to continue to babble to such, an unsympathetic ear.

It is not that she is not fond of praise if it is really sincere, and if she thinks you believe what you say.  You must show that you appreciate her merit if you would have her believe you.  Her proud spirit may take pleasure in homage which is based upon esteem, but empty compliments are always rejected; Sophy was not meant to practise the small arts of the dancing-girl.

With a judgment so mature, and a mind like that of a woman of twenty, Sophy, at fifteen, is no longer treated as a child by her parents.  No sooner do they perceive the first signs of youthful disquiet than they hasten to anticipate its development, their conversations with her are wise and tender.  These wise and tender conversations are in keeping with her age and disposition.  If her disposition is what I fancy why should not her father speak to her somewhat after this fashion?

“You are a big girl now, Sophy, you will soon be a woman.  We want you to be happy, for our own sakes as well as yours, for our happiness depends on yours.  A good girl finds her own happiness in the happiness of a good man, so we must consider your marriage; we must think of it in good time, for marriage makes or mars our whole life, and we cannot have too much time to consider it.

“There is nothing so hard to choose as a good husband, unless it is a good wife.  You will be that rare creature, Sophy, you will be the crown of our life and the blessing of our declining years; but however worthy you are, there are worthier people upon earth.  There is no one who would not do himself honour by marriage with you; there are many who would do you even greater honour than themselves.  Among these we must try to find one who suits you, we must get to know him and introduce you to him.