nevertheless, I find that affairs are now carried on with such barefaced boldness, that at length I find I shall be forced to take some course or other.  God forbid that I should act the ridiculous part of a jealous husband:  the character is odious; but then I do not intend, through an excess of patience, to be made the jest of the town.  Judge, therefore, from what I am going to tell you, whether I ought to sit down unconcerned, or whether I ought to take measures for the preservation of my honour.

“His royal highness honoured me yesterday by a visit to my wife.”  Hamilton started at this beginning.  “Yes,” continued the other, “he did give himself that trouble, and Lord Arran took upon himself that of bringing him:  do not you wonder, that a man of his birth should act such a part?  What advancement can he expect from one who employs him in such base services?  But we have long known him to be one of the silliest creatures in England, with his guitar, and his other whims and follies.”  Chesterfield, after this short sketch of his brother-in-law’s merit, began to relate the observations he had made during the visit, and asked Hamilton what he thought of his cousin Arran, who had so obligingly left them together.  “This may appear surprising to you,” continued he, “but hear me out, and judge whether I have reason to think that the close of this pretty visit passed in perfect innocence.  Lady Chesterfield is amiable, it must be acknowledged; but she is far from being such a miracle of beauty as she supposes herself:  you know she has ugly feet; but perhaps you are not acquainted that she has still worse legs.”  “Pardon me,” said Hamilton, within himself:  and the other continuing the description:  “Her legs,” said his lordship, “are short and thick; and, to remedy these defects as much as possible, she seldom wears any other than green stockings.”

Hamilton could not for his life imagine the drift of all this discourse, and Chesterfield, guessing his thoughts:  “Have a little patience,” said he:  “I went yesterday to Miss Stewart’s, after the audience of those damned Muscovites:  the king arrived there just before me; and as if the duke had sworn to pursue me wherever I went that day, he came in just after me.  The conversation turned upon the extraordinary appearance of the ambassadors.  I know not where that fool Crofts had heard that all these Muscovites had handsome wives; and that all their wives had handsome legs.  Upon this the king maintained that no woman ever had such handsome legs as Miss Stewart; and she, to prove the truth of his majesty’s assertion, with the greatest imaginable ease, immediately shewed her leg above the knee.  Some were ready to prostrate themselves, in order to adore its beauty; for indeed none can be handsomer; but the duke alone began to criticise upon it.  He contended that it was too slender, and that as for himself he would give nothing for a leg that was not thicker and shorter, and concluded by saying that no leg was worth anything without green stockings.  Now this, in my opinion, was a sufficient demonstration that he had just seen green stockings, and had them fresh in his remembrance.”