himself was at the trouble of ordering.’  ‘Give it me then, scoundrel,’ said I.  ‘Sir,’ said he, ’if I did not employ a dozen embroiderers upon it, who did nothing but work day and night, I am a rascal:  I never left them one moment:  ’And where is it traitor?’ said I:  ’do not stand here prating, while I should be dressing.’  ‘I had,’ continued he, ’packed it up, made it tight, and folded it in such a manner, that all the rain in the world could never have been able to reach it; and I rid post, day and night, knowing your impatience, and that you were not to be trifled with.’  ’But where is it?’ said I.  ‘Lost, sir,’ said he, clasping his hands.  ‘How! lost,’ said I, in surprise.  ’Yes, lost, perished, swallowed up:  what can I say more?’ ‘What! was the packet-boat cast away then?’ said I.  ’Oh! indeed, sir, a great deal worse, as you shall see,’ answered he:  ’I was within half a league of Calais yesterday morning, and I was resolved to go by the sea-side, to make greater haste; but, indeed, they say very true, that nothing is like the highway; for I got into a quicksand, where I sunk up to the chin.’  ‘A quicksand,’ said I, ‘near Calais?’ ’Yes, sir,’ said he, ’and such a quicksand that, the devil take me, if they saw anything but the top of my head when they pulled me out:  as for my horse, fifteen men could scarce get him out; but the portmanteau, where I had unfortunately put your clothes, could never be found:  it must be at least a league under ground.’

“This, sire,” continued the Chevalier de Grammont, “is the adventure, and the relation which this honest gentleman has given me of it.  I should certainly have killed him, but I was afraid of making Miss Hamilton wait, and I was desirous of giving your Majesty immediate advice of the quicksand, that your couriers may take care to avoid it.”

The King was ready to split his sides with laughing, when the Chevalier de Grammont, resuming the discourse, “apropos, sire,” said he, “I had forgot to tell you, that, to increase my ill-humour, I was stopped, as I was getting out of my chair, by the devil of a phantom in masquerade, who would by all means persuade me that the queen had commanded me to dance with her; and as I excused myself with the least rudeness possible, she charged me to find out who was to be her partner, and desired me to send him to her immediately so that your Majesty will do well to give orders about it; for she has placed herself in ambush in a coach, to seize upon all those who pass through Whitehall.  However, I must tell you, that it is worth while to see her dress; for she must have at least sixty ells of gauze and silver tissue about her, not to mention a sort of a pyramid upon her head, adorned with a hundred thousand baubles.”

This last account surprised all the assembly, except those who had a share in the plot.  The queen assured them, that all she had appointed for the ball were present; and the king, having paused some minutes:  “I bet,” said he, “that it is the Duchess of Newcastle.”  “And I,” said Lord Muskerry, coming up to Miss Hamilton, “will bet it is another fool; for I am very much mistaken if it is not my wife.”