him—in fact there was only one occupation
open to him, and that was clerical work of one kind
or another. At last he got a place in a house
in Fleet Street, which did a large business in those
days in sending newspapers into the country.
His whole occupation all day long was to write addresses,
and for this he received twenty-five shillings a week,
his hours being from nine o’clock till seven.
The office in which he sat was crowded, and in order
to squeeze the staff into the smallest space, rent
being dear, a gallery had been run round the wall
about four feet from the ceiling. This was provided
with desks and gas lamps, and up there Clark sat,
artificial light being necessary four days out of
five. He came straight from the town in which
his father lived to Fleet Street, and once settled
in it there seemed no chance of change for the better.
He knew what his father’s struggles were; he
could not go back to him, and he had not the energy
to attempt to lift himself. It is very doubtful
too whether he could have succeeded in achieving any
improvement, whatever his energy might have been.
He had got lodgings in Newcastle Street, and to these
he returned in the evening, remaining there alone with
his little library, and seldom moving out of doors.
He was unhealthy constitutionally, and his habits
contributed to make him more so. Everything which
he saw which was good seemed only to sharpen the contrast
between himself and his lot, and his reading was a
curse to him rather than a blessing. I sometimes
wished that he had never inherited any love whatever
for what is usually considered to be the Best, and
that he had been endowed with an organisation coarse
and commonplace, like that of his colleagues.
If he went into company which suited him, or read
anything which interested him, it seemed as if the
ten hours of the gallery in Fleet Street had been made
thereby only the more insupportable, and his habitual
mood was one of despondency, so that his fellow clerks
who knew his tastes not unnaturally asked what was
the use of them if they only made him wretched; and
they were more than ever convinced that in their amusements
lay true happiness. Habit, which is the saviour
of most of us, the opiate which dulls the otherwise
unbearable miseries of life, only served to make Clark
more sensitive. The monotony of that perpetual
address-copying was terrible. He has told me
with a kind of shame what an effect it had upon him—that
sometimes for days he would feed upon the prospect
of the most childish trifle because it would break
in some slight degree the uniformity of his toil.
For example, he would sometimes change from quill
to steel pens and back again, and he found himself
actually looking forward with a kind of joy—merely
because of the variation—to the day on which
he had fixed to go back to the quill after using steel.
He would determine, two or three days beforehand,
to get up earlier, and to walk to Fleet Street by
way of Great Queen Street and Lincoln’s Inn Fields,