than in cherishing his imagination. It was simple
waste to allow it to be poured out upon the earth,
and to give it to a fool was no better. After
he succeeded so well in the world, Clem, to a great
extent, deserted me, although I was his oldest friend
and the friend of his childhood. I heard that
he visited a good many rich persons, that he made much
of them, and they made much of him. He kept
up a kind of acquaintance with me, not by writing
to me, but by the very cheap mode of sending me a
newspaper now and then with a marked paragraph in it
announcing the exploits of his school at a cricket-match,
or occasionally with a report of a lecture which he
had delivered. He was a decent orator, and from
motives of business if from no other, he not unfrequently
spoke in public. One or two of these lectures
wounded me a good deal. There was one in particular
on As You Like It, in which he held up to admiration
the fidelity which is so remarkable in Shakespeare,
and lamented that in these days it was so rare to find
anything of the kind, he thought that we were becoming
more indifferent to one another. He maintained,
however, that man should be everything to man, and
he then enlarged on the duty of really cultivating
affection, of its superiority to books, and on the
pleasure and profit of self-denial. I do not
mean to accuse Clem of downright hypocrisy.
I have known many persons come up from the country
and go into raptures over a playhouse sun and moon
who have never bestowed a glance or a thought on the
real sun and moon to be seen from their own doors;
and we are all aware it by no means follows because
we are moved to our very depths by the spectacle of
unrecognised, uncomplaining endurance in a novel, that
therefore we can step over the road to waste an hour
or a sixpence upon the unrecognised, uncomplaining
endurance of the poor lone woman left a widow in the
little villa there. I was annoyed with myself
because Clem’s abandonment of me so much affected
me. I wished I could cut the rope and carelessly
cast him adrift as he had cast me adrift, but I could
not. I never could make out and cannot make out
what was the secret of his influence over me; why
I was unable to say, “If you do not care for
me I do not care for you.” I longed sometimes
for complete rupture, so that we might know exactly
where we were, but it never came. Gradually
our intercourse grew thinner and thinner, until at
last I heard that he had been spending a fortnight
with some semi-aristocratic acquaintance within five
miles of me, and during the whole of that time he
never came near me. I met him in a railway station
soon afterwards, when he came up to me effusive and
apparently affectionate. “It was a real
grief to me, my dear fellow,” he said, “that
I could not call on you last month, but the truth
was I was so driven: they would make me go here
and go there, and I kept putting off my visit to you
till it was too late.” Fortunately my train