posted.  You laugh at a man who bets a man ten dollars “receive” is spelled “recieve,” when you have just looked at the dictionary and appreciate that he hasn’t a chance. . . .  Comedy that lives year after year—­no matter whether you choose to call it “refined” or not—­never comes to its exploiters by accident.  The intrinsic idea, the germ, may come accidentally; but the figuring out of the elaboration and execution of the comedy takes thinking and a pretty fair knowledge of your fellow men. [1]

[1] From the Weber and Fields article.

Although there are very many two-acts—­among them “The Art of Flirtation”—­which do not make use of this third fundamental theme, there are a great many that depend for their biggest laughs upon this sure-fire subject.

In common with the “fool” theme, the “sucker” theme lends itself to use as a part or bit of a two-act.  And both these themes are likely to be interspersed with quarrels.

There are, of course, other themes that might be classed with these three fundamental themes.  But they tend to trail off upon doubtful ground.  Therefore, as we are considering only those that are on incontrovertible ground, let us now turn our attention to the act themes which we will call: 

3.  Subject Themes

What can you bring to the vaudeville stage in the way of themes that are new?  That is what you should ask yourself, rather than to inquire what has already been done.

Anything that admits of treatment on the lines of the two-act as it has been spread before you, offers itself as a subject theme.  In the degree that you can find in it points that are bright, clever, laughter-provoking and business-suggestive, does it recommend itself to you as a theme.

Here is the merest skimming of the themes of the two-acts presented in one large city during one week: 

Flirting:  done in a burlesque way.  Our own example, “The Art of Flirtation.”

Quarrelsome musicians in search of a certain street.  One is always wrong.  Gags all on this routine subject.

Getting a job:  “sucker” theme.  One character an Italian politician, the other an Italian laborer.

Wives:  one man is boss at home, the other is henpecked.  Furthermore, the wives don’t agree.  Quarrel theme.

Old times:  two old schoolmates meet in the city.  One a “fly guy,” the other a simple, quiet country fellow.  “Fool” theme, in the old days and the present.

Note the variety of subjects treated.  If my memory serves me correctly, everyone of these acts had a quarrel either as its entire subject, or the usual quarrels developed frequently in the routine.  These quarrels, as in most two-acts, were fundamental to much of their humor.  But no two of the acts had the same subject theme.

It would seem, then, that in thinking out the two-act, the author would do well to avoid every theme that has been used—­if such a thing is humanly possible, where everything seems to have been done—­and to attempt, at least, to bring to his two-act a new subject theme.