2.  Fundamental Themes

Experience has taught effective writers that certain definite themes are peculiarly adaptable to two-act form and they follow them.  But success comes to them not because they stick to certain themes only—­they win because they vary these fundamental themes as much as they can and still remain within the limits of proved theatrical success.

(a) The Quarrel Theme.  Search my memory as diligently as I may, I cannot now recall a single successful two-act that has not had somewhere in its routine a quarrel, while many of the most successful two-acts I remember have been constructed with a quarrel as their routine motives.

With this observation in mind, re-read “The Art of Flirtation” and you will discover that the biggest laughs precede, arise from, or are followed by quarrels.  Weber and Fields in their list of the most humorous business, cite not only mildly quarrelsome actions, but actually hostile and seemingly dangerous acts.  The more hostile and the more seemingly dangerous they are, the funnier they are.  Run through the Cohan list and you will discover that nearly every bit of business there reported is based on a quarrel, or might easily lead to a fight.

(b) The “Fool” Theme.  To quote again from Weber and Fields: 

There are two other important items in human nature that we have capitalized along with others to large profit.  Human nature, according to the way we analyzed it, is such a curious thing that it will invariably find cause for extreme mirth in seeing some other fellow being made a fool of, no matter who that fellow may be, and in seeing a man betting on a proposition when he cannot possibly win.  We figured it out, in the first place, that nothing pleased a man much more than when he saw another man being made to look silly in the eyes of others.

  For example, don’t you laugh when you observe a dignified looking
  individual strutting down the street wearing a paper tail that
  has been pinned to his coat by some mischievous boys? [1]

[1] From the Weber and Fields article already quoted.

Note how the “fool” theme runs all through “The Art of Flirtation.”  Go to see as many two-acts as you can and you will find that one or another of the characters is always trying to “show up” the other.

(c) The “Sucker” Theme.

As for the quirk in human nature that shows great gratification at the sight of a man betting on something where he is bound to be the loser:  in inelegant language, this relates simply to the universal impulse to laugh at a “sucker.”  It is just like standing in front of a sideshow tent after you have paid your good money, gone in, and been “stung,” and laughing at everyone else who pays his good money, comes out, and has been equally “stung.”  You laugh at a man when he loses the money he has bet on a race that has already been run when the wager has been