Writing for Vaudeville eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 543 pages of information about Writing for Vaudeville.

Writing for Vaudeville eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 543 pages of information about Writing for Vaudeville.

DUGAN:  Hands up, Billy!  Hands up! (He then locates EEL behind sofa.) I won’t tell you again!  Hands up! (The EEL holds hands up and appears behind sofa.) (GOLDIE is up C. behind trunk.) Goldie, frisk him clean. (GOLDIE protests.) Come on!  Come on! (DUGAN points gun at EEL, and GOLDIE runs to him and goes through his pockets.  She finds tobacco bag which she hands to DUGAN.  He doesn’t take it, and she drops it on floor.) Get to his gun pocket.  Get to his gun pocket. (GOLDIE hesitates, then goes to EEL’S hip pocket, where she finds a roll of money.  She tries to put it back but DUGAN sees it.) Come on, hand it over. (GOLDIE appeals to the EEL who pantomimes to do so, and she hands it to DUGAN.) This is the money he took from the man he killed. (Putting money into red wallet and returning wallet to pocket.)

EEL:  Do you think I’d frisk a stiff?  Let me tell you something, Dugan. (Throwing hat on floor.) You staked me two years ago in the Pen, and then tried to make me believe that Goldie was in on the frame.  You lied like a yellow dog, Dugan, and you know it.  Yes, I am a crook and a thief, and I’ve robbed a lot of people, but I’m just a little bit above you, Dugan, just a little bit above you.  Because, I never took money from a woman, and that’s part of your graft. (DUGAN takes out gun as though to hit EEL with it.  GOLDIE grabs his arm and bites his hand and he drops the gun; Noise begins off stage.  GOLDIE runs to door R. while EEL and DUGAN struggle.  DUGAN throws EEL off and goes toward window L. EEL sees gun on floor R., runs and gets it, but GOLDIE prevents his shooting it.  The Police break in the door at this point.  One catches GOLDIE as she is running toward the window L. Another, who comes through the window, catches the EEL.  The Inspector stands at door R., crowd back of him.  DUGAN comes down to him.)

DUGAN:  Well, Inspector, I got him.  He robbed and croaked an old man.  I got him with the goods on!

INSPECTOR:  Let these people go! (Pointing to DUGAN.) There’s your man, arrest him! (GOLDIE and the EEL are released.)

DUGAN:  Inspector, you’ve got nothing on me.

INSPECTOR:  No? (Crossing to DUGAN.) Well, there’s a dictagraph in this room (GOLDIE rushes into EEL’S arms.), and we’ve got everything on you, you dog.  You’re a disgrace to all mankind.  It is unclean curs like you that have bred a cancer in the department, and pointed the finger of suspicion at ten thousand honest policemen.  But that cancer must be cut out, and the operation begins now.  Take him away. (Policemen hand-cuff DUGAN, who struggles, then resignedly walks off, preceded and followed by police.  The INSPECTOR follows them, but stops and turns at door R.) Well, Billy! (EEL and GOLDIE come C. and stand in front of trunk.)

EEL:  Well, Inspector?

INSPECTOR:  If you’re going to live square, stick to it. (EEL takes GOLDIE’S hand.) I never want to see you at headquarters again.  (EEL drops his head and GOLDIE puts her arm around him.) I won’t even need you as a witness.  The dictagraph has recorded all. (EEL and GOLDIE pleased.) Good-night! (INSPECTOR exits, closing door after him.)

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Writing for Vaudeville from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.