COMEDIAN:  Run the other way.

STRAIGHT:  No, no.  This is the handkerchief flirtation.  As soon as a pretty woman makes eyes at you, you put your hands in your pockets.

COMEDIAN:  And hold on to your money.

STRAIGHT:  No, you take out your handkerchief. (biz.)

COMEDIAN:  Suppose you ain’t got a handkerchief?

STRAIGHT:  Every flirter must have a handkerchief.  It says it in the book.  Now you shake the handkerchief three times like this (biz.).  Do you know what that means?

COMEDIAN:  (Biz. of shaking head.)

STRAIGHT:  That means you want her to give you—­

COMEDIAN:  Ten cents.

STRAIGHT:  No.  Dat means you want her to give you a smile.  So you shake the handkerchief three times like this (biz.), then you draw it across you mouth like this (biz.).  What does that mean?

COMEDIAN:  That means you just had a glass of beer.

STRAIGHT:  No, dat means “I would like to speak with you.”

COMEDIAN:  And does she answer?

STRAIGHT:  She got to, it says it in the book.

COMEDIAN:  Does she answer you with a handkerchief?

STRAIGHT:  Yes, or she might umbrella.

COMEDIAN:  Over the head.

STRAIGHT:  Sure.  If she answers you with de umbrella over the head, that means something.  Ven she holds the umbrella over her head, she means that she is a married woman.

COMEDIAN:  Den you quit flirting.

STRAIGHT:  No, den you commence.  If she shakes it dis way (biz.), dat means—­

COMEDIAN:  Her husband is coming.

STRAIGHT:  No.  Dat means “You look good to me.”  Den you hold your handkerchief by the corner like dis (biz.).

COMEDIAN:  Vat does that mean?

STRAIGHT:  Meet me on the corner.

COMEDIAN:  Och, dat’s fine (takes handkerchief).  Den if you hold it dis way, dat means (biz.) “Are you on the square?”

STRAIGHT:  You are learning already.  You will soon be a flirter.  Now I vill show you how you flirt according to the book.  You are a man flirter, and I am a beautiful female.

COMEDIAN:  You are what?

STRAIGHT:  A female.  A female.

COMEDIAN:  Vat’s dat, a female?

STRAIGHT:  A female.  Don’t you know what fee means?  Fee, that means money.  Male, that means man.  Female.  That means “Get money from a man.”  That’s a female.  I am a beautiful woman and just to teach you how to flirt, I am going to take a walk thro’ the park.

COMEDIAN:  I thought you were a gentlemen.

STRAIGHT:  No.  No.  Just for an instance I am a lady.  I will walk past in a reckless way, and I will make eyes at you.

COMEDIAN:  If you do, I will smash my nose in your face.

STRAIGHT:  No.  No.  When I make eyes at you, you must wave your handkerchief at me three times.  Den you reproach me vit all the disrespect in the world and den you take off your hat and you say something.  Vat do you say?