And what a fine place they picked out for Liberty to stand.

With Coney Island on one side and Blackwell’s Island on the other.

And when she stands there now, looking on the country the way it is and what she has to stand for, I tell you tears and tears must drop from her eyes.  Well, to prove it—­look at the ocean she filled up.

And no wonder she’s crying.  Read the nuisance papers.  See what is going on.

Look what the country owes.

According to the last report of the Secretary of the Pleasury, the
United States owes five billion dollars.

Nobody knows what we owe it for;

And nobody ever sees what we have got for it; [1]

[1] Here begins the “Panama Canal point,” referred to in Chapter V. It continues until the “End of Panama Canal Point” footnote below.

First read the monologue including this point, then read it skipping the point—­thus you will see, first, what a complete “point” is; second, what “blending” means; and third, how a monologist may shorten or lengthen his routine by leaving out or including a point. [end footnote]

And if you go to Washington, the Capsule of the United States, and ask them, THEY don’t even know THEMSELVES.

Then they say, what keeps the country broke is the Pay-no-more Canal.

It cost the Government nine thousand dollars an hour to dig the canal.  THINK OF THAT!

Nine thousand dollars an hour for digging, and the worst of it is, they ain’t digging.

Up to date, it has cost a hundred and seventy million dollars to dig a hole—­they’ve been at it for over nine years—­and the only hole they’ve dug is in the United States Treasury.

Every six months, the Chief Engineer, he comes up with a report;

He says:  “Mr. Congress, the canal is getting better every day, a million dollars MORE please.”

He gets the money, goes out, buys a couple of shovels, then sends back a telegram:  HOORAY—­The digging is very good, the two oceans will soon be one.

Can you beat that?

Before they started the canal it didn’t cost us nothing, and we had two oceans.

And by the time they get through, it’ll cost us three hundred million and we’ll only have one.

And now that the canal is nearly finished, it looks like it was going to get us into trouble.

Japan is against it on one side and England don’t like it on the other.

And that’s why we’ve got to have a navy. [1]

[1] End of “Panama Canal point.”  See footnote above, also Chapter V.

Of course, we’ve got a navy.

But everybody is kicking about it.

Why should they kick?

All we appropriated for the navy last year was four million dollars.

And there’s eighty million people in this country.

And that figures a nickel apiece.

And what the hell kind of a navy do you expect for a nickel?