My Old Kentucky Home

Perhaps the most characteristic of the burlesque acts in vaudeville, this “Tab” has been played in various guises in the two-a-day and in burlesque for many seasons.  It is the work of a writer who justly prides himself on his intimate knowledge of the burlesque form, and who possesses the most complete library of burlesque manuscripts in America.  To the thousands of readers of “Madison’s Budget,” James Madison requires no introduction.

Permission to publish these acts has, in each instance, been personally granted to the author of this volume.  This kind permission covers publication in this book only.  Republication of these acts in whole or in part, in any form whatsoever, is expressly prohibited.

Stage presentation of any of the acts is likewise forbidden.  A Special Warning has been inserted in the introductory page of every act, at the request of each author.  The reason for such repetition is to be found in the commercial value of successful vaudeville material, and in the fact that the general public has never precisely understood the reservations permitted to the author of a dramatic work under the copyright law.  Infringements of any sort are subject to severe penalties under United States law and will be rigidly prosecuted.

To the writers of these acts the author of this volume wishes to express his deep appreciation for the permissions that enable him to print as illustrations of his text some of the finest acts that vaudeville has ever seen.

The German Senator A Monologue

By Aaron Hoffman
Author of “The Politicians,” “The Belle of Avenue A,”
“The Newly-weds and their Baby”, “Let George Do It,”
“School Days,” Etc., Etc.

THE GERMAN SENATOR

My dear friends and falling citizens: 

My heart fills up with vaccination to be disabled to come out here before such an intelligence massage of people and have the chance to undress such a large conglomerated aggravation.

I do not come before you like other political speakers, with false pride in one hand and the Star Strangled Banana in the other.

I come before you as a true, sterilized citizen, a man who is for the public and against the people, and I want to tell you, my ’steemed friends, when I look back on the early hysterics of our country, and think how our forefathers strangled to make this country voss iss is it; when you think of the lives that was loosed and the blood that was shredded, we got to feel a feeling of patriotic symptoms—­we got to feel a patriotic symp—­symps—­you got to feel the patri—­you can’t help it, you got to feel it.

I tell you, our hearts must fill up with indigestion when we look out to see the Statue of Liberty, the way she stands, all alone, dressed up in nothing, with a light in her hand, showing her freedom.