How vain our schemes to guard the wily sex! 
Oft plots we find, that ev’ry sense perplex. 
Go, jealous husbands, books of cases burn;
Caresses lavish, and you’ll find return.

The Gascon punished

A Gascon (being heard one day to swear,
That he’d possess’d a certain lovely fair,)
Was played a wily trick, and nicely served;
’Twas clear, from truth he shamefully had swerved: 
But those who scandal propagate below,
Are prophets thought, and ev’ry action know;
While good, if spoken, scarcely is believed,
And must be viewed, or not for truth received.

          Thedame, indeed, the Gascon only jeered,
          And e’er denied herself when he appeared;
          But when she met the wight, who sought to shine;
          And called her angel, beauteous and divine,
          She fled and hastened to a female friend,
          Where she could laugh, and at her ease unbend.

          NearPhillis, (our fair fugitive) there dwelled
          One Eurilas, his nearest neighbour held;
          His wife was Cloris; ’twas with her our dove
          Took shelter from the Gascon’s forward love,
          Whose name was Dorilas; and Damon young,
          (The Gascon’s friend) on whom gay Cloris hung.

          SweetPhillis, by her manner, you might see,
          From sly amours and dark intrigues was free;
          The value to possess her no one knew,
          Though all admired the lovely belle at view. 
          Just twenty years she counted at the time,
          And now a widow was, though in her prime,
          (Her spouse, an aged dotard, worth a plum:—­
          Of those whose loss to mourn no tears e’er come.)

          Ourseraph fair, such loveliness possessed,
          In num’rous ways a Gascon could have blessed;
          Above, below, appeared angelic charms;
          ’Twas Paradise, ’twas Heav’n, within her arms!

          TheGascon was—­a Gascon;—­would you more? 
          Who knows a Gascon knows at least a score. 
          I need not say what solemn vows he made;
          Alike with Normans Gascons are portrayed;
          Their oaths, indeed, won’t pass for Gospel truth;
          But we believe that Dorilas (the youth)
          Loved Phillis to his soul, our lady fair,
          Yet he would fain be thought successful there.

          Oneday, said Phillis, with unusual glee,
          Pretending with the Gascon to be free:—­
          A favour do me:—­nothing very great;
          Assist to dupe one jealous of his mate;
          You’ll find it very easy to be done,
          And doubtless ’twill produce a deal of fun. 
          ’Tis our request (the plot you’ll say is deep,)