Wife

’Twas mine: 

Neighbour

Be patient:—­and inform me, pray,
If this were worn by you or her to-day? 
There lies the point, for, if you’ll me believe,
Your husband did—­the most you can conceive.

Wife

How hard of credence!—­’twas myself I vow.

Neighbour

Oh! that’s conclusive; I’ll be silent now;
Though truly I am led to think, my eyes
Are pretty sharp, and much I feel surprise
At what you say; in fact, I would have sworn,
I saw them thus at romps this very morn;
Excuse the hint, and do not turn her off.

Wife

Why, turn her off?—­the very thought I scoff;
She serves me well.

Neighbour

And so it seems is taught;
By all means keep her then, since thus she’s thought.

The three gossips’ Wager

As o’er their wine one day, three gossips sat,
Discoursing various pranks in pleasant chat,
Each had a loving friend, and two of these
Most clearly managed matters at their ease.

Said one, a princely husband I have got. 
A better in the world there’s surely not;
With him I can adjust as humour fits,
No need to rise at early dawn, like cits,
To prove to him that two and three make four,
Or ask his leave to ope or shut the door.

          Uponmy word, replied another fair,
          If he were mine, I openly declare,
          To judge from what so pleasantly you say,
          I’d make a present of him new-year’s day. 
          For pleasure never gives me full delight,
          Unless a little pain the bliss invite. 
          No doubt your husband moves as he is led;
          Thank heav’n a different mortal claims my bed;
          To take him in, great nicety we need;
          But howsoe’er, at times I can succeed;
          The satisfaction doubly then is felt:—­
          In fond emotion bosoms freely melt. 
          With neither of you, husband or gallant,
          Would I exchange, though these so much you vaunt.

          Onthis, the third with candour interfer’d;
          She thought that oft the god of love appear’d,
          Good husbands playfully to fret and vex,
          Sometimes to rally couples:  then perplex;
          But warmer as the conversation grew,
          She, anxious that each disputant might view
          Herself victorious, (or believe it so,)
          Exclaim’d, if either of you wish to show
          Who’s in the right, with argument have done,
          And let us practise some new scheme of fun,
          To dupe our husbands; she who don’t succeed
          Shall pay a forfeit; all replied, “Agreed.”