Laetitia.  Agreed.  But pray, Mr. Wild, why b—­ch?  Why did you suffer such a word to escape you?

Jonathan.  It is not worth your remembrance.

Laetitia.  You agree I shall converse with whomsoever I please?

Jonathan.  Without controul.  And I have the same liberty?

Laetitia.  When I interfere may every curse you can wish attend me!

Jonathan.  Let us now take a farewell kiss, and may I be hanged if it is not the sweetest you ever gave me.

Laetitia.  But why b—­ch?  Methinks I should be glad to know why b—­ch?

At which words he sprang from the bed, d—­ing her temper heartily.  She returned it again with equal abuse, which was continued on both sides while he was dressing.  However, they agreed to continue steadfast in this new resolution; and the joy arising on that occasion at length dismissed them pretty chearfully from each other, though Laetitia could not help concluding with the words, why b—­ch?

CHAPTER NINE

Observations on the foregoing dialogue, together with A base design on our hero, which must be detested by every lover of greatness.

Thus did this dialogue (which, though we have termed it matrimonial, had indeed very little savour of the sweets of matrimony in it) produce at last a resolution more wise than strictly pious, and which, if they could have rigidly adhered to it, might have prevented some unpleasant moments as well to our hero as to his serene consort; but their hatred was so very great and unaccountable that they never could bear to see the least composure in one another’s countenance without attempting to ruffle it.  This set them on so many contrivances to plague and vex one another, that, as their proximity afforded them such frequent opportunities of executing their malicious purposes, they seldom passed one easy or quiet day together.

And this, reader, and no other, is the cause of those many inquietudes which thou must have observed to disturb the repose of some married couples who mistake implacable hatred for indifference; for why should Corvinus, who lives in a round of intrigue, and seldom doth, and never willingly would, dally with his wife, endeavour to prevent her from the satisfaction of an intrigue in her turn?  Why doth Camilla refuse a more agreeable invitation abroad, only to expose her husband at his own table at home?  In short, to mention no more instances, whence can all the quarrels, and jealousies, and jars proceed in people who have no love for each other, unless from that noble passion above mentioned, that desire, according to my lady Betty Modish, of curing each other of A smile.