the bath. Beyond this wine, and occasionally
a cup of soup, she took nothing, had no wish to take
anything. She grew perfectly accustomed to these
extraordinary habits of life, to this merging of night
and day into one monotonous and endless repetition
of the same rite amid the same circumstances on exactly
the same spot. Then followed a period during
which she objected to being constantly wakened up
for this annoying immersion. And she fought against
it even in her dreams. Long days seemed to pass
when she could not be sure whether she had been put
into the bath or not, when all external phenomena
were disconcertingly interwoven with matters which
she knew to be merely fanciful. And then she
was overwhelmed by the hopeless gravity of her state.
She felt that her state was desperate. She felt
that she was dying. Her unhappiness was extreme,
not because she was dying, but because the veils of
sense were so puzzling, so exasperating, and because
her exhausted body was so vitiated, in every fibre,
by disease. She was perfectly aware that she
was going to die. She cried aloud for a pair of
scissors. She wanted to cut off her hair, and
to send part of it to Constance and part of it to
her mother, in separate packages. She insisted
upon separate packages. Nobody would give her
a pair of scissors. She implored, meekly, haughtily,
furiously, but nobody would satisfy her. It seemed
to her shocking that all her hair should go with her
into her coffin while Constance and her mother had
nothing by which to remember her, no tangible souvenir
of her beauty. Then she fought for the scissors.
She clutched at some one—always through
those baffling veils—who was putting her
into the bath by the bedside, and fought frantically.
It appeared to her that this some one was the rather
stout woman who had supped at Sylvain’s with
the quarrelsome Englishman, four years ago. She
could not rid herself of this singular conceit, though
she knew it to be absurd. ...
A long time afterwards—it seemed like a
century—she did actually and unmistakably
see the woman sitting by her bed, and the woman was
crying.
“Why are you crying?” Sophia asked wonderingly.
And the other, younger, woman, who was standing at
the foot of the bed, replied:
“You do well to ask! It is you who have
hurt her, in your delirium, when you so madly demanded
the scissors.”
The stout woman smiled with the tears on her cheeks;
but Sophia wept, from remorse. The stout woman
looked old, worn, and untidy. The other one was
much younger. Sophia did not trouble to inquire
from them who they were.
That little conversation formed a brief interlude
in the delirium, which overtook her again and distorted
everything. She forgot, however, that she was
destined to die.
One day her brain cleared. She could be sure
that she had gone to sleep in the morning and not
wakened till the evening. Hence she had not been
put into the bath.