a word of Brooke’s proposal to any living being.
At present it was a secret with herself, but a secret
so big that it almost caused her bosom to burst with
the load that it bore. She could not, she thought,
write to Priscilla till she had told her aunt.
If she were to write a word on the subject to any
one, she could not fail to make manifest the extreme
longing of her own heart. She could not have
written Brooke’s name on paper, in reference
to his words to herself without covering it with epithets
of love. But all that must be known to no one
if her love was to be of no avail to her. And
she had an idea that her aunt would not wish Brooke
to marry her, would think that Brooke should do better;
and she was quite clear that in such a matter as this
her aunt’s wishes must be law. Had not
her aunt the power of disinheriting Brooke altogether?
And what then if her aunt should die, should die now,
leaving Brooke at liberty to do as he pleased?
There was something so distasteful to her in this
view of the matter that she would not look at it.
She would not allow herself to think of any success
which might possibly accrue to herself by reason of
her aunt’s death. Intense as was the longing
in her heart for permission from those in authority
over her to give herself to Brooke Burgess, perfect
as was the earthly Paradise which appeared to be open
to her when she thought of the good thing which had
befallen her in that matter, she conceived that she
would be guilty of the grossest ingratitude were she
in any degree to curtail even her own estimate of
her aunt’s prohibitory powers because of her
aunt’s illness. The remembrance of the
words which Brooke had spoken to her was with her
quite perfect. She was entirely conscious of the
joy which would he hers, if she might accept those
words as properly sanctioned; but she was a creature
in her aunt’s hands according to her own ideas
of her own duties; and while her aunt was ill she could
not even learn what might be the behests which she
would be called on to obey.
She was sitting one evening alone, thinking of all
this, having left Martha with her aunt, and was trying
to reconcile the circumstances of her life as it now
existed with the circumstances as they had been with
her in the old days at Nuncombe Putney, wondering at
herself in that she should have a lover, and trying
to convince herself that for her this little episode
of romance could mean nothing serious, when Martha
crept down into the room to her. Of late days—the
alteration might perhaps be dated from the rejection
of Mr Gibson—Martha, who had always been
very kind, had become more respectful in her manner
to Dorothy than had heretofore been usual with her.
Dorothy was quite aware of it, and was not unconscious
of a certain rise in the world which was thereby indicated.
‘If you please, miss,’ said Martha, ’who
do you think is here?’
‘But there is nobody with my aunt?’ said
Dorothy.