“But of all lives it must surely be the best.”

“Do you think so?  What is such a one likely to do?  But then what do I do, as it is?  It is the sort of life you would like,—­if you were a man.”

“Yes,—­if I were a man,” said Mary.  Then he again relapsed into silence and hardly spoke again till he left her at her father’s door.

CHAPTER V

The Last Effort

When Mary reached her home she was at once met by her stepmother in the passage with tidings of importance.  “He is up-stairs in the drawing-room,” said Mrs. Masters.  Mary whose mind was laden with thoughts of Reginald Morton asked who was the he.  “Lawrence Twentyman,” said Mrs. Masters.  “And now, my dear, do, do think of it before you go to him.”  There was no anger now in her stepmother’s face, but entreaty and almost love.  She had not called Mary “my dear” for many weeks past,—­not since that journey to Cheltenham.  Now she grasped the girl’s hand as she went on with her prayer.  “He is so good and so true!  And what better can there be for you?  With your advantages, and Lady Ushant, and all that, you would be quite the lady at Chowton.  Think of your father and sisters; what a good you could do them!  And think of the respect they all have for him, dining with Lord Rufford the other day and all the other gentlemen.  It isn’t only that he has got plenty to live on, but he knows how to keep it as a man ought.  He’s sure to hold up his head and be as good a squire as any of ’em.”  This was a very different tale;—­a note altogether changed!  It must not be said that the difference of the tale and the change of the note affected Mary’s heart; but her stepmother’s manner to her did soften her.  And then why should she regard herself or her own feelings?  Like others she had thought much of her own happiness, had made herself the centre of her own circle, had, in her imagination, built castles in the air and filled them according to her fancy.  But her fancies had been all shattered into fragments; not a stone of her castles was standing; she had told herself unconsciously that there was no longer a circle and no need for a centre.  That last half-hour which she had passed with Reginald Morton on the road home had made quite sure that which had been sure enough before.  He was not altogether out of her reach, thinking only of the new duties which were coming to him.  She would never walk with him again; never put herself in the way of indulging some fragment of an illusory hope.  She was nothing now, nothing even to herself.  Why should she not give herself and her services to this young man if the young man chose to take her as she was?  It would be well that she should do something in the world.  Why should she not look after his house, and mend his shirts, and reign over his poultry yard?  In this way she would be useful, and respected by all,—­unless perhaps by the man she loved.  “Mary, say that you will think of it once more,” pleaded Mrs. Masters.