“I think I could explain them all,” said Mr. Surtees mildly.

“If you can do so satisfactorily, I shall be very glad to hear it,” continued the Senator, who seemed in truth to be glad to hear no one but himself.  “A lad of one-and-twenty learns his lessons so well that he has to be rewarded at his college, and a part of his reward consists in his having a parish entrusted to him when he is forty years old, to which he can maintain his right whether he be in any way trained for such work or no.  Is that true?”

“His collegiate education is the best training he can have,” said the rector.

“I came across a young fellow the other day,” continued the Senator, “in a very nice house, with 700 pounds a year, and learned that he had inherited the living because he was his father’s second son.  Some poor clergyman had been keeping it ready for him for the last fifteen years and had to turn out as soon as this young spark could be made a clergyman.”

“It was his father’s property,” said the rector, “and the poor man had had great kindness shown him for those fifteen years”

“Exactly;—­his father’s property!  And this is what you call a cure of souls!  And another man had absolutely had his living bought for him by his uncle, just as he might have bought him a farm.  He couldn’t have bought him the command of a regiment or a small judgeship.  In those matters you require capacity.  It is only when you deal with the Church that you throw to the winds all ideas of fitness. `Sir,’ or `Madam,’ or perhaps, `my little dear, you are bound to come to your places in Church and hear me expound the Word of God because I have paid a heavy sum of money for the privilege of teaching you, at the moderate salary of 600 pounds a year!’”

Mr. Surtees sat aghast, with his mouth open, and knew not how to say a word.  Doctor Nupper rubbed his red nose.  Reginald Morton attempted some suggestion about the wine which fell wretchedly flat.  John Morton ventured to tell his friend that he did not understand the subject.  “I shall be most happy to be instructed,” said the Senator.

“Understand it!” said the rector, almost rising in his chair to rebuke the insolence of his guest—­“He understands nothing about it, and yet he ventures to fall foul with unmeasured terms on an establishment which has been brought to its present condition by the fostering care of perhaps the most pious set of divines that ever lived, and which has produced results with which those of no other Church can compare!”

“Have I represented anything untruly?” asked the Senator.

“A great deal, sir.”

“Only put me right, and no man will recall his words more readily.  Is it not the case that livings in the Church of England can be bought and sold?”