A REFLECTION ON THE HORSE

A boy accustomed to see his master—­the owner of a station—­jump his horse over the gate instead of stopping to open it, tried to follow.  The horse cantered up grandly, seemed to gather himself for the jump, and baulked.  The boy shot out of the saddle and over the gate.  As he picked himself up and shook the dust from his clothes he glared back at the horse, saying—­“You blurry liar!”

TRIUMPH OF MATTER OVER MIND

Out on a station in the Burketown district an athletic black boy was employed.  Trained by some friends, Charley developed such fleetness of foot that it was decided to enter him in sports which took place at Normanton and Croydon.  In order that the public might be properly surprised, it was planned that Charley should run into second place at Normanton, and that at Croydon all possible honours were to be his.

Immediately before starting at Normanton, Charley was told that he was not to win, because his backers wanted to make big money at Croydon.

Charley ran a good second most of the way, made a spurt, and breasted the tape yards to the good.

Taken aside, his friends angrily remonstrated with him.  “Look here, Charley, what’s the matter?  I bin tell you run second.  You come first—­you spoil everything!”

“Carn help it, Dick.  Carn help it.  Me bin bolt.”

THE RUSE THAT FAILED

Miners in isolated camps where writing paper is not always available, scribble their orders for rations upon hastily tom margins of newspapers.  A cute old black fellow named Bill who had frequently been entrusted with such notes and had borne away goods presented a scrap of paper innocent of writing at the store.

“What?  This from Tom?” asked the storekeeper naming one of his customers while he ran his eye over the paper.

“Yowi!  Tom bin make ’em.”

“What this fella talk?”

“That fella talk plour; sugar, tea; two stick Derby,” and, as a brilliant after thought—­“bottle rum!”

“All right, by and bye,” remarked the storekeeper.

The old man waited, and when it at last dawned upon him that his dodge for the pledging of Tom’s credit had failed, stole away, convinced no doubt that there was some magic in the making of letters that he did not quite comprehend.

THE BIG WORD

A tracker, known as Billy Williams—­who had passed out of the police service after many years of duty during which he had added largely to his burden of original sin and knowledge of English—­stole a valuable diamond ring from the landlord of an hotel.  Detected, and promptly brought before two justices of the peace, Billy pleaded guilty, and was sentenced to three months’ imprisonment.