“None o’ thae things would I do,” said Waster Lunny,” and sal, I dauredna, for Davit Lunan was glowering over my shuther.  Ay, you may scrowl at me, Elspeth Proctor, but as far back as I can mind, Ezra has done me.  Mony a time afore I start for the kirk I take my Bible to a quiet place and look Ezra up.  In the very pew I says canny to mysel’, ‘Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, Job,’ the which should be a help, but the moment the minister gi’es out that awfu’ book, away goes Ezra like the Egyptian.”

“And you after her,” said Elspeth, “like the weavers that wouldna fecht.  You make a windmill of your Bible.”

“Oh, I winna admit I’m beat.  Never mind there’s queer things in the world forby Ezra.  How is cripples aye so puffed up mair than other folk?  How does flour-bread aye fall on the buttered side?”

“I will mind,” Elspeth said, “for I was terrified the minister would admonish you frae the pulpit.”

“He couldna hae done that, for was he no baffled to find Ezra himsel’?”

“Him no find Ezra!” cried Elspeth.  “I hae telled you a dozen times he found it as easy as you could yoke a horse.”

“The thing can be explained in no other way,” said her husband, doggedly, “if he was weel and in sound mind.”

“Maybe the dominie can clear it up,” suggested the post, “him being a scholar.”

“Then tell me what happened,” I asked.

“Godsake, hae we no telled you?” Birse said.  “I thocht we had.”

“It was a terrible scene,” said Elspeth, giving her husband a shove.  “As I said, Mr. Dishart gave out Ezra eighth.  Weel, I turned it up in a jiffy, and syne looked cautiously to see how Eppie McLaren was getting on.  Just at that minute I heard a groan frae the pulpit.  It didna stop short o’ a groan.  Ay, you may be sure I looked quick at the minister, and there I saw a sicht that would hae made the grandest gape.  His face was as white as a baker’s, and he had a sort of fallen against the back o’ the pulpit, staring demented-like at his open Bible.”

“And I saw him,” said Birse, “put up his hand atween him and the Book, as if he thocht it was to jump at him.”

“Twice,” said Elspeth, “he tried to speak, and twice he let the words fall.”

“That,” says Waster Lunny, “the whole congregation admits, but I didna see it mysel’, for a’ this time you may picture me hunting savage-like for Ezra.  I thocht the minister was waiting till I found it.”

“Hendry Munn,” said Birse, “stood upon one leg, wondering whether he should run to the session-house for a glass of water.”

“But by that time,” said Elspeth, “the fit had left Mr. Dishart, or rather it had ta’en a new turn.  He grew red, and it’s gospel that he stamped his foot.”

“He had the face of one using bad words,” said the post, “He didna swear, of course, but that was the face he had on.”

“I missed it,” said Waster Lunny, “for I was in full cry after Ezra, with the sweat running down my face.”