December 31, 1856.

...1856-7-8 must still be “Lehrjahre” to complete training in principles of Histology, Morphology, Physiology, Zoology, and Geology by Monographic Work in each department. 1860 will then see me well grounded and ready for any special pursuits in either of these branches.

It is impossible to map out beforehand how this must be done.  I must seize opportunities as they come, at the risk of the reputation of desultoriness.

In 1860 I may fairly look forward to fifteen or twenty years “Meisterjahre,” and with the comprehensive views my training will have given me, I think it will be possible in that time to give a new and healthier direction to all Biological Science.

To smite all humbugs, however big; to give a nobler tone to science; to set an example of abstinence from petty personal controversies, and of toleration for everything but lying; to be indifferent as to whether the work is recognised as mine or not, so long as it is done:—­are these my aims? 1860 will show.

  Willst du dir ein hubsch Leben zimmern,
  Musst dich ans Vergangene nicht bekummern;
  Und ware dir auch was Verloren,
  Musst immer thun wie neugeboren. 
  Was jeder Tag will, sollst du fragen;
  Was jeder Tag will, wird er sagen. 
  Musst dich an eigenem Thun ergotzen;
  Was andere thun, das wirst du schatzen. 
  Besonders keinen Menschen hassen
  Und das Ubrige Gott uberlassen.

[Wilt shape a noble life?  Then cast No backward glances to the past.  And what if something still be lost?  Act as new-born in all thou dost.  What each day wills, that shalt thou ask; Each day will tell its proper task; What others do, that shalt thou prize, In thine own work thy guerdon lies.  This above all:  hate none.  The rest—­Leave it to God.  He knoweth best.]

Half-past ten at night.

Waiting for my child.  I seem to fancy it the pledge that all these things shall be.

Born five minutes before twelve.  Thank God.  New Year’s Day, 1857.

September 20, 1860.

And the same child, our Noel, our first-born, after being for nearly four years our delight and our joy, was carried off by scarlet fever in forty-eight hours.  This day week he and I had a great romp together.  On Friday his restless head, with its bright blue eyes and tangled golden hair, tossed all day upon his pillow.  On Saturday night the fifteenth, I carried him here into my study, and laid his cold still body here where I write.  Here too on Sunday night came his mother and I to that holy leave-taking.

My boy is gone, but in a higher and better sense than was in my mind when I wrote four years ago what stands above—­I feel that my fancy has been fulfilled.  I say heartily and without bitterness—­Amen, so let it be.

CHAPTER 1.12.

1859-1860.

[The programme laid down in 1857 was steadily carried out through a great part of 1859.  Huxley published nine monographs, chiefly on fossil Reptilia, in the proceedings of the Geological Society and of the Geological Survey, one on the armour of crocodiles at the Linnean, and “Observations on the Development of some Parts of the Skeleton of Fishes,” in the “Journal of Microscopical Science.”