Walpole.  Lend you half—­ [his voice faints away].

Louis.  Well, if you dont, Blenkinsop wont get it; for I havnt a rap:  you may search my pockets if you like.

Walpole.  Thats conclusive. [He produces half-a-crown].

Louis [passing it to Ridgeon] There!  I’m really glad thats settled:  it was the only thing that was on my conscience.  Now I hope youre all satisfied.

Sir Patrick.  Not quite, Mr Dubedat.  Do you happen to know a young woman named Minnie Tinwell?

Louis.  Minnie!  I should think I do; and Minnie knows me too.  She’s a really nice good girl, considering her station.  Whats become of her?

Walpole.  It’s no use bluffing, Dubedat.  Weve seen Minnie’s marriage lines.

Louis [coolly] Indeed?  Have you seen Jennifer’s?

Ridgeon [rising in irrepressible rage] Do you dare insinuate that
Mrs Dubedat is living with you without being married to you?

Louis.  Why not?

B. B. { [echoing him in } Why not! 
Sir Patrick { various tones of } Why not! 
Ridgeon { scandalized } Why not! 
Walpole { amazement] } Why not!

Louis.  Yes, why not?  Lots of people do it:  just as good people as you.  Why dont you learn to think, instead of bleating and bashing like a lot of sheep when you come up against anything youre not accustomed to? [Contemplating their amazed faces with a chuckle] I say:  I should like to draw the lot of you now:  you do look jolly foolish.  Especially you, Ridgeon.  I had you that time, you know.

Ridgeon.  How, pray?

Louis.  Well, you set up to appreciate Jennifer, you know.  And you despise me, dont you?

Ridgeon [curtly] I loathe you. [He sits down again on the sofa].

Louis.  Just so.  And yet you believe that Jennifer is a bad lot because you think I told you so.

Ridgeon.  Were you lying?

Louis.  No; but you were smelling out a scandal instead of keeping your mind clean and wholesome.  I can just play with people like you.  I only asked you had you seen Jennifer’s marriage lines; and you concluded straight away that she hadnt got any.  You dont know a lady when you see one.

B. B. [majestically] What do you mean by that, may I ask?

Louis.  Now, I’m only an immoral artist; but if youd told me that Jennifer wasnt married, I’d have had the gentlemanly feeling and artistic instinct to say that she carried her marriage certificate in her face and in her character.  But you are all moral men; and Jennifer is only an artist’s wife—­probably a model; and morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.  Arnt you ashamed of yourselves?  Can one of you look me in the face after it?

Walpole.  Its very hard to look you in the face, Dubedat; you have such a dazzling cheek.  What about Minnie Tinwell, eh?