Louis [after a moment’s reflection] Well, I can manage that for you.  I’ll give you a cheque—­or see here:  theres no reason why you shouldnt have your bit too:  I’ll give you a cheque for two hundred.

Ridgeon.  Why not cash the cheque at once without troubling me?

Louis.  Bless you! they wouldnt cash it:  I’m overdrawn as it is.  No:  the way to work it is this.  I’ll postdate the cheque next October.  In October Jennifer’s dividends come in.  Well, you present the cheque.  It will be returned marked “refer to drawer” or some rubbish of that sort.  Then you can take it to Jennifer, and hint that if the cheque isnt taken up at once I shall be put in prison.  She’ll pay you like a shot.  Youll clear 50 pounds; and youll do me a real service; for I do want the money very badly, old chap, I assure you.

Ridgeon [staring at him] You see no objection to the transaction; and you anticipate none from me!

Louis.  Well, what objection can there be?  It’s quite safe.  I can convince you about the dividends.

Ridgeon.  I mean on the score of its being—­shall I say dishonorable?

Louis.  Well, of course I shouldnt suggest it if I didnt want the money.

Ridgeon.  Indeed!  Well, you will have to find some other means of getting it.

Louis.  Do you mean that you refuse?

Ridgeon.  Do I mean—! [letting his indignation loose] Of course I refuse, man.  What do you take me for?  How dare you make such a proposal to me?

Louis.  Why not?

Ridgeon.  Faugh!  You would not understand me if I tried to explain.  Now, once for all, I will not lend you a farthing.  I should be glad to help your wife; but lending you money is no service to her.

Louis.  Oh well, if youre in earnest about helping her, I’ll tell you what you might do.  You might get your patients to buy some of my things, or to give me a few portrait commissions.

Ridgeon.  My patients call me in as a physician, not as a commercial traveller.

A knock at the door.

Louis goes unconcernedly to open it, pursuing the subject as he goes.

Louis.  But you must have great influence with them.  You must know such lots of things about them—­private things that they wouldnt like to have known.  They wouldnt dare to refuse you.

Ridgeon [exploding] Well, upon my—­

Louis opens the door, and admits Sir Patrick, Sir Ralph, and
Walpole.

Ridgeon [proceeding furiously] Walpole:  Ive been here hardly ten minutes; and already he’s tried to borrow 150 pounds from me.  Then he proposed that I should get the money for him by blackmailing his wife; and youve just interrupted him in the act of suggesting that I should blackmail my patients into sitting to him for their portraits.

Louis.  Well, Ridgeon, if this is what you call being an honorable man!  I spoke to you in confidence.