“Yes, Adam,” Dinah said, “I know marriage is a holy state for those who are truly called to it, and have no other drawing; but from my childhood upwards I have been led towards another path; all my peace and my joy have come from having no life of my own, no wants, no wishes for myself, and living only in God and those of his creatures whose sorrows and joys he has given me to know.  Those have been very blessed years to me, and I feel that if I was to listen to any voice that would draw me aside from that path, I should be turning my back on the light that has shone upon me, and darkness and doubt would take hold of me.  We could not bless each other, Adam, if there were doubts in my soul, and if I yearned, when it was too late, after that better part which had once been given me and I had put away from me.”

“But if a new feeling has come into your mind, Dinah, and if you love me so as to be willing to be nearer to me than to other people, isn’t that a sign that it’s right for you to change your life?  Doesn’t the love make it right when nothing else would?”

“Adam, my mind is full of questionings about that; for now, since you tell me of your strong love towards me, what was clear to me has become dark again.  I felt before that my heart was too strongly drawn towards you, and that your heart was not as mine; and the thought of you had taken hold of me, so that my soul had lost its freedom, and was becoming enslaved to an earthly affection, which made me anxious and careful about what should befall myself.  For in all other affection I had been content with any small return, or with none; but my heart was beginning to hunger after an equal love from you.  And I had no doubt that I must wrestle against that as a great temptation, and the command was clear that I must go away.”

“But now, dear, dear Dinah, now you know I love you better than you love me...it’s all different now.  You won’t think o’ going.  You’ll stay, and be my dear wife, and I shall thank God for giving me my life as I never thanked him before.”

“Adam, it’s hard to me to turn a deaf ear...you know it’s hard; but a great fear is upon me.  It seems to me as if you were stretching out your arms to me, and beckoning me to come and take my ease and live for my own delight, and Jesus, the Man of Sorrows, was standing looking towards me, and pointing to the sinful, and suffering, and afflicted.  I have seen that again and again when I have been sitting in stillness and darkness, and a great terror has come upon me lest I should become hard, and a lover of self, and no more bear willingly the Redeemer’s cross.”

Dinah had closed her eyes, and a faint shudder went through her.  “Adam,” she went on, “you wouldn’t desire that we should seek a good through any unfaithfulness to the light that is in us; you wouldn’t believe that could be a good.  We are of one mind in that.”