American. [Gravely] It’s highly entertaining—­not for the baby.  What kind of an old baby is it, anyway? [He sniff’s] I judge it’s a bit—­niffy.

Little man.  Afraid I’ve hardly looked at it yet.

American.  Which end up is it?

Little Mam.  Oh!  I think the right end.  Yes, yes, it is.

American.  Well, that’s something.  Maybe you should hold it out of window a bit.  Very excitable things, babies!

ENGLISHWOMAN. [Galvanized] No, no!

Englishman. [Touching her knee] My dear!

American.  You are right, ma’am.  I opine there’s a draught out there.  This baby is precious.  We’ve all of us got stock in this baby in a manner of speaking.  This is a little bit of universal brotherhood.  Is it a woman baby?

Little man.  I—­I can only see the top of its head.

American.  You can’t always tell from that.  It looks kind of over-wrapped up.  Maybe it had better be unbound.

German.  ‘Nein, nein, nein’!

American.  I think you are very likely right, colonel.  It might be a pity to unbind that baby.  I guess the lady should be consulted in this matter.

ENGLISHWOMAN.  Yes, yes, of course——!

Englishman. [Touching her] Let it be!  Little beggar seems all right.

American.  That would seem only known to Providence at this moment. 
I judge it might be due to humanity to look at its face.

Little man. [Gladly] It’s sucking my’ finger.  There, there—­nice little thing—­there!

American.  I would surmise in your leisure moments you have created babies, sir?

Little man.  Oh! no—­indeed, no.

American.  Dear me!—­That is a loss. [Addressing himself to the carriage at large] I think we may esteem ourselves fortunate to have this little stranger right here with us.  Demonstrates what a hold the little and weak have upon us nowadays.  The colonel here—­a man of blood and iron—­there he sits quite calm next door to it. [He sniffs] Now, this baby is rather chastening—­that is a sign of grace, in the colonel—­that is true heroism.

Little man. [Faintly] I—­I can see its face a little now.

     [All bend forward.]

American.  What sort of a physiognomy has it, anyway?

Little man. [Still faintly] I don’t see anything but—­but spots.

German.  Oh!  Ha!  Pfui!

     [The Dutch youth laughs.]

American.  I am told that is not uncommon amongst babies.  Perhaps we could have you inform us, ma’am.

ENGLISHWOMAN.  Yes, of course—­only what sort of——­

Little man.  They seem all over its——­[At the slight recoil of everyone] I feel sure it’s—­it’s quite a good baby underneath.