[Lady William lifts the bomb from the cooler into the sight of all.  Lord William, seeing it for the first time in full light, bends double in silent laughter, and whispers to his wife.  Lady William drops the bomb and gives way too.  Hearing the sound, Lemmy turns, and his goggling eyes pan them all in review.  Lord and lady William in fits of laughter, little Anne stamping her feet, for miss Stokes, red, but composed, has her hands placed firmly over her pupil’s eyes and ears; little Aida smiling brilliantly, Mrs. Lemmy blandly in sympathy, neither knowing why; the four footman in a row, smothering little explosions.  Poulder, extremely grave and red, the press perfectly haggard, gnawing at his nails.]

Lemmy. [Turning to the press] Blimy!  It amooses ’em, all but the genteel ones.  Cheer oh!  Press!  Yer can always myke somefin’ out o’ nufun’?  It’s not the fust thing as ’as existed in yer imaginytion only.

Press.  No, d—–­it; I’ll keep it a bomb!

Lemmy. [Soothingly] Ah!  Keep the sensytion.  Wot’s the troof compared wiv that?  Come on, Muvver!  Come on, Little Aida!  Time we was goin’ dahn to ’Earf.

     [He goes up to the table, and still skidding a little at lady
     William, takes the late bomb from the cooler, placing it under
     his arm.]

Mrs. Lemmy.  Gude naight, sir; gude naight, ma’am; thank yu for my cup o’ tea, an’ all yore kindness.

     [She shakes hands with lord and lady William, drops the curtsey
     of her youth before Mr. Poulder, and goes out followed by little
     Aida, who is looking back at little Anne.]

Lemmy. [Turning suddenly] Aoh!  An’ jist one frog!  Next time yer build an ’ouse, daon’t forget—­it’s the foundytions as bears the wyte.

     [With a wink that gives way, to a last fascinated look at lady
     William, he passes out.  All gaze after them, except the press,
     who is tragically consulting his spiflicated notes.]

L. Anne. [Breaking away from Miss Stokes and rushing forward] Oh!  Mum! what was it?

CURTAIN

THE SKIN GAME

(A tragi-comedy)

“Who touches pitch shall be defiled”

CHARACTERS

Hillcrist ...............A Country Gentleman
Amy .....................His Wife
Jill ....................His Daughter
Dawker ..................His Agent
Hornblower ..............A Man Newly-Rich
Charles .................His Elder Son
Chloe ...................Wife to Charles
Rolf ....................His Younger Son
fellows .................Hillcrist’s Butler
Anna ....................Chloe’s Maid
the Jackmans ............Man and Wife

An auctioneer
A solicitor
two strangers