Plays : Fourth Series eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 262 pages of information about Plays .

Plays : Fourth Series eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 262 pages of information about Plays .
An’ wot abaht since?  Sich a riot o’ nymes called, in Press—­and Pawlyement.  Unpatriotic an’ outrygeous demands o’ lybour.  Blood-suckin’ tyranny o’ Kepitel; thieves an’ dawgs an ’owlin Jackybines—­gents throwin’ books at each other; all the resources of edjucytion exhausted!  If I’d bin Prime Minister I’d ’ave ’ad the Press’s gas cut ’orf at the meter.  Puffect liberty, of course, nao Censorship; just sy wot yer like—­an’ never be ’eard of no more.

     [Turning suddenly to the press, who has been scribbling in pace
     with this harangue, and now has developed a touch of writer’s
     cramp.]

Why!  ’Is ‘end’s out o’ breath!  Fink o’ vet!

Lord W. Great tribute to your eloquence, Mr. Lemmy!

[A sudden stir of applause and scraping of chairs is heard; the meeting is evidently breaking up.  Lady William comes in, followed by Mrs. Lemmy with her trousers, and little AidaLemmy stares fixedly at this sudden, radiant apparition.  His gaze becomes as that of a rabbit regarding a snake.  And suddenly he puts up his hand and wipes his brow.]

     [Lady William, going to the table, lifts one end of the Chinese
     mat, and looks at Lemmy.  Then she turns to lord William.]

Lady W. Bill!

Lemmy. [To his mother—­in a hoarse whisper] She calls ’im Bill. 
’Ow!  ’Yn’t she it?

Lady W. [Apart] Have you—­spoken to him?

     [Lord William shakes his head.]

Not?  What have you been saying, then?

Lord W. Nothing, he’s talked all the time.

Lady W. [Very low] What a little caution!

Lord W. Steady, old girl!  He’s got his eye on you!

     [Lady William looks at Lemmy, whose eyes are still fixed on
     her.]

Lady W. [With resolution] Well, I’m going to tackle him.

     [She moves towards Lemmy, who again wipes his brow, and wrings
     out his hand.]

Mrs. Lemmy.  Don’t ’ee du that, Bob.  Yu must forgive’im, Ma’am; it’s ’is admiration.  ’E was always one for the ladies, and he’m not used to seein’ so much of ’em.

Lady W. Don’t you think you owe us an explanation?

Mrs. Lemmy.  Speak up, Bob.

     [But Lemmy only shifts his feet.]

My gudeness!  ’E’ve a-lost ’is tongue.  I never knu that ’appen to ’e before.

Lord W. [Trying to break the embarrassment] No ill-feeling, you know, Lemmy.

     [But Lemmy still only rolls his eyes.]

Lady W. Don’t you think it was rather—­inconsiderate of you?

Lemmy.  Muvver, tyke me aht, I’m feelin’ fynte!

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Plays : Fourth Series from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.