(An extravagant play)

PERSONS OF THE PLAY

Lord William Dromondy, M.P. 
Lady William Dromondy
little Anne
miss Stokes
Mr. Poulder
James
Henry
Thomas
Charles
the press
Lemmy
old Mrs. Lemmy
little Aida
the Duke of Exeter

Some anti-sweaters; Some sweated workers; and a crowd

SCENES

Scene I. The cellar at lord William DROMONDY’S in Park Lane.

Scene II.  The room of old Mrs. Lemmy in Bethnal Green.

Scene III.  Ante-room of the hall at lord William DROMONDY’S

The Action passes continuously between 8 and 10.30 of a
summer evening, some years after the Great War.

ACT I

Lord William DROMONDY’S mansion in Park Lane.  Eight o’clock of the evening.  Little Anne Dromondy and the large footman, James, gaunt and grin, discovered in the wine cellar, by light of gas.  James, in plush breeches, is selecting wine.

L. Anne:  James, are you really James?

James.  No, my proper name’s John.

L. Anne.  Oh! [A pause] And is Charles’s an improper name too?

James.  His proper name’s Mark.

L. Anne.  Then is Thomas Matthew?

James.  Miss Anne, stand clear o’ that bin.  You’ll put your foot through one o’ those ’ock bottles.

L. Anne.  No, but James—­Henry might be Luke, really?

James.  Now shut it, Miss Anne!

L. Anne.  Who gave you those names?  Not your godfathers and godmothers?

James.  Poulder.  Butlers think they’re the Almighty. [Gloomily]
But his name’s Bartholomew.

L. Anne.  Bartholomew Poulder?  It’s rather jolly.

James.  It’s hidjeous.

L. Anne.  Which do you like to be called—­John or James?

James.  I don’t give a darn.

L. Anne.  What is a darn?

James.  ’Tain’t in the dictionary.

L. Anne.  Do you like my name?  Anne Dromondy?  It’s old, you know. 
But it’s funny, isn’t it?

James. [Indifferently] It’ll pass.

L. Anne.  How many bottles have you got to pick out?

James.  Thirty-four.

L. Anne.  Are they all for the dinner, or for the people who come in to the Anti-Sweating Meeting afterwards?