Hauser.  It’s the only calling where one can start any day, Frau
Lund, without being called upon to produce qualifications.

Bolland.  There you can tell the lawyer.  You’d like to establish a civil service examination for members of the Reichstag?

Hauser.  You are not afraid that it might hurt them?

Beermann [with importance].  Let me tell you, Judge.  What a person achieves in real life is far greater than all your book wisdom.  We have too many lawyers anyway.  It’s one of our national misfortunes.

Frau Lund [merrily to Frau Beermann].  Look!  He’s beginning to debate already.

Bolland [careless pose].  As you know, I run a soap factory where I employ four hundred and sixty-two workmen ... let me repeat it, four hundred and sixty-two workmen.  Their livelihood and welfare lies in the palm of my hand; don’t you think that requires brains?

Hauser.  But ...

Bolland [interrupting].  Do you realize what the amount of detail and the management of the whole factory means?

Hauser.  But friend Beermann never even worked in a soap factory.  How can that apply to him?

Beermann.  Oh, what’s the use of discussing things if you’re joking.

Hauser.  Really, I can’t see the connection.

Beermann.  At any rate, I’m a better candidate than the book-binder whom the Socialists have put up against me.

Bolland.  Beermann has had greater experience and has a broader point of view.

Frau Lund.  Then there’s something else I heard about Herr Beermann, that I don’t like at all.

Beermann.  About me?

Frau Lund.  Yes, I bear that you are the President of the new Society for the Suppression of Vice.  What makes you do such things?  That isn’t nice.

Frau Beermann.  I fully agree with you.

Beermann.  You do?  For what reasons?  When honest men select me as their President, is that mere flattery?

Frau Lund.  It is not becoming to you, and you are insincere in it.

Frau Beermann.  It’s as false as anything can be, and you speak about problems which you have never understood.

Beermann.  Pardon me!  I ought to know best what is becoming for me.

Frau Lund.  There’s no one in the world I dislike as much as a preacher.  But if a person wants to be one ... then, according to the gospel he ought to live on bread and water.  It doesn’t go well with champagne and lobster.

Beermann.  Do the Scriptures command that we must be poor to be honorable?

Frau Lund.  No, Beermann, but if I still remember, they speak of a camel and a needle.

Bolland.  The ladies evidently are not acquainted with the purposes of our new society.  I am sure they would subscribe to every one of the principles which are incorporated in our By-laws.