and the loud acclamations of the grotesque throng,
one might have set it down as a fact that Little Barnstable
was out on a frolic. As to the figure cut by the
major, that may be safely left to the reader’s
fancy. His short legs scarce reached below old
Battle’s saddle girth; and, in addition to the
slouchy suit of Uxbridge satinet, he wore a shabby
white hat, very like that worn by Philosopher Greeley
on election days. Never was departure of foreign
ambassador attended with such demonstrations, all
of which the major viewed as highly complimentary to
him as a military politician. Having reached
the end of the wharf amidst cheers and bravos, the
crowd would not permit him to dismount until he had
addressed them on the state of the nation. Saying
it always gave him great pleasure to gratify the wishes
of the people, he faced half round in his saddle,
and bowed with an air of great self complacency.
Then his broad, red face crimsoned, and his thoughts
seemed in his beard, for after stroking and fretting
it for some seconds, he spoke as follows: “Fellow-citizens:
I am sure I have not merited the great homage bestowed
upon me to-day. But that is neither here nor
there. Let me enjoin you all to live patriots,
avoiding ceremonies and performing sacrifices for your
country. And above all, live as good christians,
and not as fluttering butterflies, who attract only
with the gay color of their plumage while they live
and die soon to be forgotten. And as to the nation
itself, why, may the devil get me, (and I’m no
friend of his,) if I don’t think all that is
needed to render it safe, is just to let it alone.
Nor would it be much lost if some kindly disposed gentleman
would kill off a few score of our Union savers, who,
like quack doctors, go about with their pockets full
of plasters, and are for ever hunting for the crack
in the nation’s skull. And I would advise
all politicians to spin less patriotic yarns, to be
more modest, to learn wisdom, to drink less whiskey;
in truth, to think more of God and their country,
and to get them honest godfathers, who will teach
them what a sad thing it is to think so much of the
nation’s gold.” Having said this,
the major stopped suddenly, and turning in his saddle,
caught a glimpse of the air balloon attached to old
Battle’s tail, which was making curious gyrations
in the air; and seeing the ludicrous figure he was
cutting, he called upon all present to aid him in
punishing the miscreant who dared to offer such an
insult to his dignity. But the crowd only answered
with jeers and acclamations, which so increased his
anger that he dismounted, and, giving his pig in charge
of Captain Snider, led old Battle hurriedly on board,
cursed them for an unthinking set, and set sail amidst
the loud acclamations of the crowd. As the “Two
Marys” sped seaward, Polly Potter and her three
children were seen waving their adieus from a neighboring
height.