of his breeches, he declared with great emphasis, that he would not hear a word said against the pig’s morals and sagacity, seeing that he had been reared and educated in the care of the clergy.  In truth, he had given out so many proofs of rare sagacity, that the major stated it as his intention to speedily proceed with him to New York, there to have his “Life and Times” written by the erudite Easley, who was said to be strangely profound as a critic, in which capacity he wrote for three newspapers, and read for three or more publishers, all of whom where celebrated for not selling less than one hundred thousand copies of every work to which they affixed their imprint, though it was said of them that they had thrown to the public no end of literary carrion, which Easley had praised.

Order being restored, the major gave way to the parson, who closed his case by asserting that his poverty entitled him to compensation.  The major now rose, and with considerable clearness, set forth the fact, that no evidence had been produced to show either that the pig was disposed to evil, or that he had devoured a single chicken.  Feathers were scattered round, but feathers might have been laid there as a blind by some rascal who had divers evil designs against the hen roosts of his neighbors.  Christians ought always, the major contended, to take a generous view of things before they couched the fatal spear.  Again, there was neighbor Kimball’s pet fox, an arrant rascal, who was known to have a strange penchant for young chickens, and had committed depredations enough to consign him to the gallows.

The above view of the case somewhat modified the parson’s temper, and as he would not have those present think him less than a Christian gentleman, who would rather go supperless to bed than wrong his fellow, he, in the blandest manner, begged them not to think for a moment that he intended wrong.  So, with great sanctity of countenance, he laid his hand upon his heart, called Omnipotence to witness that he bore the major no ill will, and was ready to atone for aught he had said damaging to his feelings.  And this display of repentance well nigh dissolved the major into tears.  The disputants now shook hands, and swore eternal friendship.  The major bowed, and placed his hand to his heart; and the parson bowed, and placed his hand to his heart; and thus was I relieved from rendering a verdict, which most likely would have pleased neither.  It was likewise intimated to the parson, that the sewing circle would make good his loss, with fourfold interest, which consoled him much.  Together then the two friends, without further ceremony, set out to release the animal from bondage, congratulating one another that they had been wise enough to keep out of the hands of lawyers.  On arriving at the parson’s yard, to which they were followed by a crowd of idlers, they were not a little surprised to find that the pig had taken his departure, having first beaten the dog in a fair