“That I was going to speak of, but it escaped me.  You must know, then, that a priest came in a few days ago, (and he is no liar!) and reported that ‘these vagabonds,’ meaning your excellency’s army, were scattered all over the country, and were in a sad plight, many of them dying of hunger.”

“Good enough for them!” replied the general, to Mr. Tickler’s utter astonishment.  “And if every general be not hanged before he gets out of the country, then you may set it down that the devil is on their side; for it was by their disorders I lost my kingdom.”

“What! and has your excellency given up the command of his army?”

“Honestly, friend Tickler, though I have a rare talent for commanding, I would defy the devil to keep order in this army sent me by Glenmoregain.  As for the kingdom, I resign that like an honorable man:  and if this ambitious gentleman wants it still, let him employ another general, for I am resolved to get home where peace reigns, and I can go to bed without fear of being hanged in the morning.  Yes, sir, I am resolved to wash my hands of all these vanities, and employ whatever means will carry me quickest out of the country.”

“By the saints, general, it has never been my good fortune to hear you talk so sensible.  And if you will just come into the garden you shall know more of my inclinations in this matter.”  They now sallied out into the garden and took seats beneath some pomegranate trees, the night being clear, and the moon shedding a bright light over the landscape.  Feeling sure no one would overhear him, Mr. Tickler said to the general:  “I would have you know, sir, that nothing would so grieve me as to break faith with my Angelio.  But how can a man brought up to the excitements of New York life content himself in a desert, where there is neither opera nor balls to go to?  And though my love for Angelio knows no bounds, there are damsels at home for whom I have a curious longing.  Since, then, you are resolved to get out of the country, I will give it out that I am resolved to accompany you to Jolliffee, promising to return when I have seen you safe on your journey.  And when we are there, seeing that it will be no difficult matter for Angelio to get another lover, I will keep your excellency company to New York.”

“Honestly, friend Tickler,” replied the general, “I see you are a great rogue, and no exception to your calling.  Albeit, if you choose to leave so kind a damsel, and have no fear of her heart and your own reputation, why, so let it be.”  And now, scrupulously as I respect the high honor which rules among critics in general, my love for truth constrains me here to record, notwithstanding it may do serious damage to the literary reputation of this history, that this colloquy ended with arranging a plan by which Mr. Tickler was to betray Angelio, and leave her the wreck of a broken heart.