was the fact that it had within itself a great highway, over which the commerce of two oceans passed.  And such were the advantages held out by a monopoly of this highway, that each claimant stood ready to censure the ignorance of the government that doubted his right to higher consideration than that given to his fellow adventurer, whom he would hang to the nearest tree with as little scruple as he would eat his breakfast.

“And now, sir,” resumed Glanmoregain, “I have described the Kingdom of the Kaloramas to you, and also the immense advantages it possesses.  To be honest with you, then, I desire to gain possession of it, which I take it will be no hard matter, provided the general who engages in my service be capable of outwitting his rivals.  And as each keeps a general and a poet of his own, I am resolved to outdo the rest by having a general and two poets, which surely will secure the success of my enterprise.”

“Truly, sir,” interposed the general, somewhat surprised at the hugeness of Glanmoregain’s desires, “I hold it no man is more capable of undertaking what you desire, for God has given me talents which have served me in war, and I have been careful not to abuse them in peace.  Let me then have men and meat, and, if you please, a few of those gifts men so much covet, and I warrant you I make the glory all your own.  Say but the word, and it will not be long before I have this king you speak of hung to the first tree, and myself elected in his place.”

“You are exactly the gentleman I want,” spoke the other; “and as to men and meat, I may mention, general, that I have numerous ships at my command, and provisions without stint!  And there are at least ten thousand vagabonds, whom, heaven knows, the city would be well rid of; and these, being officered by well starved members of the legal profession, whose name is legion, can be got to do the fighting for the mere love they bear such amusement.  Indeed, general, I am no prophet, or the appearance of such an army would soon frighten the king out of his kingdom, which would be a blessing, seeing that it would save so much blood.  First disorganize the judiciary, then endeavor to spread dissension among the people, (which is a thing common enough with the ministers we send abroad,) and when these things are done the king can be easily overthrown, which will secure me the advantage I desire as well as a victory over my rivals.”

“Faith, sir, I pledge my military reputation to do all these things; and if I fail it will be no fault of mine, for my arm is strong enough to meet the enemy at his own game.  And as your speech betrays you a man of profound wisdom, I will tell you, for it will be of great advantage to our cause, that I am about to engage one Orlando Tickler, a critic of great learning, who speaks several tongues, and has no less than seven newspapers at his bidding.  And what is more, he is much given to poetry, and can get up sonnets in praise of our victories.  Think you not he can play an important part?”