as to make this history entirely unnecessary.  I ought to mention, however, that the sagacious reporters were cautious not to mention the affair which caused the polite landlord to eject the high officials from his house.  This gave an additional charm to the whole concern, and so elated the major as to entirely take away his appetite.  Indeed, he resolved from that moment, let whatever come, to travel no farther without a reporter of his own.  They made the very best sort of speeches, and could make and unmake great men with a facility truly astonishing, usually laying the greatest stress upon the smallest things.

When breakfast was over, the landlord drew the major aside, and requested as a favor that he would listen to what he said.  “Understand me, sir,” he said, with a look of concern, “you are welcome in my house, but I fear there are difficulties creeping in that may lessen our friendship if left unexplained.  I see you are a man of great mental power, a stranger, and a gentleman, therefore you cannot be expected to know the great distress our aldermen, who are much given to ceremonies of this sort, have brought upon several honest men.  You see, sir, how fond they are of the bottle, and as there are only two hundred dollars set apart for the bill at my house, which will not square last night’s bill at the bar, pray give them a hint, for their generosity knows no bounds at times; and if I present a bill somewhat over the mark, I am laughed at, and set down for a confirmed fool.”

“I see you are an honest man,” replied the major, “and it is a pity your house should be damaged by persons who have not the fear of bills before their eyes, though they have the gold of the city at their command.  But, sir, let your thoughts incline the most favorable way, for I have some two hundred dollars of my own, as well as a horse and pig of such rare qualities that I already begin to see the fortune they will bring to me.”  The major now continued giving such a wonderful account of his animals as excited the landlord’s curiosity, and made him express a desire to see them.  And as nothing so pleased the major as to show his animals to every new acquaintance, he doffed his uniform, and putting on his suit of Uxbridge satinet, which rather increased the rotundity of his figure, sallied forth to the stable, and there found old Battle quietly eating hay in the stalls, and the pig fast locked up in his cage.  A groom led the limping animal out, and as he hobbled along the floor, a perfect Bucephalus in the major’s eyes, the landlord could not comprehend how so sensible a gentleman could become so infatuated with a horse that was as lean as a lantern, unless he be a knave.  But notwithstanding the miserable plight he was in, he soon began to raise his head and tail, evidently out of regard at seeing his master, and gave out such other signs of what there was in him, as convinced the landlord he was a horse of some metal, though he would not bring an eagle in the market.  And here the major commenced to give an account of the many adventures he had performed with this noble animal, when the landlord interposed by saying, “I admire your enthusiasm, major, but as I have no love for practical jokes, you may put your frame in the stalls, for he will need all the care you can bestow upon him.”