that her virtues creep along with her fair fame.”  The major delivered these remarks with so much ease and fluency, that the listeners stood in silence, and began to think the man they had had described to them for a fool, was in truth an eccentric politician, who was using this mode of discourse only as a means of deception.  But when he invited them to examine his horse and pig, which he did while giving the most wonderful description of their varied good qualities, and the many services they had rendered him, the color of his brain at once discovered itself.

One after another, the party, having exchanged congratulations, engaged the major in conversation, and found that he had ready answers for all their questions, though many of them were far off the mark, illustrating the fact, that his mind had been much given to the affairs of the nation, of which he had the most confused ideas.  In order to afford the visitors some diversion, he also uncaged his pig, and made him perform a series of antics truly wonderful, and with which they not only expressed themselves highly satisfied, but deeply interested.

The major now visited the commodore’s yacht, and was received with a salute of thirteen guns, which he felt in his heart were solely in compliment to his humble worth.  A party of richly dressed ladies were on board the yacht, and received the major with so much deference, that he felt sure not even the slightest mark of respect had been omitted.  In fine, the ladies all gathered about him, and were so eager to emulate one another in showing him respect and conciliating his favor, that even Flora, who declared herself his first admirer, could with difficulty get an opportunity to present him her souvenir in the shape of a wine cup bearing her name.  “Ah! sir,” said Flora, reproachfully, “last night you condescended to smile upon me, and I took your smiles for serious intentions.  Indeed, I say it in honest truth, that your winning manners had much affected me, though my heart is not of the melting sort.  But now, sir, I see you are an arrant coquette, and no exception to the rest of your profession.”  Another damsel of comely features had set upon the major, and was exciting his vanity to no small extent, when Flora interrupted with the above remarks, preserving a most impatient countenance as she did so.

“As I live, fair maiden, I have no wrong intentions, for my wife, Polly Potter, is not yet dead; nor is it right of a soldier to trifle with the weaknesses of woman.  Being a soldier and no flatterer, I will say this, that your beauty has made me your vassal, and had I a dozen hearts, ten at least would be yours.”