his name became famous all over the state. As
to the doctor, whose name was Killsly, the major described
him as as arrant a rascal as ever compounded nostrum
or thrust pill down the throat of unwilling patient.
“You may have thought my conduct toward that
man unusual, considering the habitual courtesy of
my profession,” said the major, addressing the
captain, “but I hold it right, that a man of
honor should treat a great knave, which I knew him
to be, precisely in the manner I did. Killsly,
it was found, shortly after he came to live at the
Cove, had been an abortionist in New York, where he
dashed about in a livery of great brightness, and
had a purloined crest of so curious a device that
no one could make out what it meant, though several
had applied to Mr. Hayes, of Broadway, who supplied
the wives of grocers and linen drapers with arms and
crests, (as the dwellers in Snob Avenue have it,)
charging only four shillings and sixpence for his
services, including advice as to what color the livery
ought to be. Killsly was in high favor with what
is there called fashionable society, which, out of
sheer respect for his skill, afforded him no few opportunities
for the exercise of it. At length he got mixed
up in a singularly delicate but very common difficulty,
which rendered it desirable to make a change of residence.
Well, he came to the Cove, and here might have lived
as every good man ought to live, loving God and keeping
his fingers out of his neighbor’s affairs; but
a damsel, who tossed her feathers at the rustics of
the village, and would coquette only with city beaux,
chanced to be overtaken by a by-blow and had need
of his skill, it being necessary to protect her virtue,
which her friends described as being whiter than snow.
But death, which scruples not in such matters, betrayed
the secret, and sent the whole village into a fever.
There being no doubt of Killsly’s guilt in the
matter, I thereupon had him arrested and brought before
me; and, being the guardian of public morality, I
ordered him to prison, there to await the sitting of
the County Court. Believe me, gentlemen, I would,
as I failed not to tell him, have had him well hanged,
had the case been left entirely with me. But
I leave it to others to speak of the justice of my
judgments. Now, though I say it, he called me
a fool; and for that it would have gone hard with
him, since society can well afford to lose all such
vagabonds. But justice was weak in the screws,
and he at last escaped between what is called a flaw
in the indictment and the ingenuity of his lawyer,
as is generally the case with such knowing fellows.”
All this and much more, the major said, and would have
sworn it true. The sailors listened with grave
demeanor, and were surprised and amazed at what they
considered his extraordinary wisdom.
CHAPTER XXII.
How news of an extraordinary character was received and restored the major to sound health; also A few remarks concerning the manufacture of heroes.