Neither the doctor nor the parson were disturbed at the departure of the rest of the company; for they continued to praise the quality of the cider and debate the question of law until my father went into a deep sleep, from which he was disturbed by the parson, who, in response to an invitation from the doctor, commenced singing a song for the entertainment of my mother.  Such joviality was uncommon with the parson, and so surprised and astonished my father, that he intimated to the doctor that it would not be amiss to get him home.  Being something of a wag, the doctor intended to vanquish the parson with the cider, and then perform certain mischievous tricks with his features.  But this my father, who was not given to sporting with the weaknesses of others, prevented, by ordering my mother to lock up the six remaining bottles.  “We might debate the question until daylight, but I could not convince you,” spake the parson, rising from his chair on finding the bottles empty, and rather fussily adjusting his spectacles, “it is not expected that law is a part of your profession.”

The doctor being a well bred and courteous man, bowed and held his peace.  Indeed, he saw that the parson’s intellect was somewhat deranged; hence he held it more becoming a Christian to tender his services in conducting him to his home, which was some two miles off.  The parson now took me by the hand, and having looked me in the eye steadily for nearly a minute, addressed me as follows:  “You, young man, I am afraid, have got a dangerous turn of mind.  Many is the young man that has been hurried to destruction by a too daring and adventurous spirit.  But if your resolution to go out upon the world in search of fame is not to be shaken by anything I say, then I would enjoin you always to so fence up your character that the devil and slander-loving editors cannot pick holes in it.  Pray much.  Let no one tempt you with mild drinks, for such only lead to the taking of stronger ones.  Go regularly to church, but let not your eyes fall upon the faces of pretty women so that your ears be sealed to the sermon.  Never make love to another man’s wife.  Remember this when you are a great man, for with them it is become a fashion.  Let ruffians go their own way.  Let gentlemen be your companions, and never fail to show them that you can at least be their equal in courteous demeanor.  Always pay your washerwoman; be not ashamed to acknowledge your father, and remember that the fonder you speak of your mother, the more you will be beloved by strangers.  Avoid politicians, who are come to be great vagabonds, who drink bad liquor and give their thoughts to base designs against the nation’s gold.  If you become great and valorous, historians will no doubt defame you, and lay crimes of which you were innocent at your door, as is common with them.  But you must bear what they say of you with Christian fortitude, remembering, always, that it is a delight with them to tear greatness