And I did these things, not that I was an egotist, not that I was impervious to the critical glances of my fellows, but because of a certain hogskin belt, plethoric and sweat-bewrinkled, which buckled next the skin above the hips.  Oh, it’s absurd, I grant, but had that belt not been so circumstanced, and so situated, I should have shrunk away into side streets and back alleys, walking humbly and avoiding all gregarious humans except those who were likewise abroad without belts.  Why?  I do not know, save that in such way did my fathers before me.

Viewed in the light of sober reason, the whole thing was preposterous.  But I walked down the gang-plank with the mien of a hero, of a barbarian who knew himself to be greater than the civilization he invaded.  I was possessed of the arrogance of a Roman governor.  At last I knew what it was to be born to the purple, and I took my seat in the hotel carriage as though it were my chariot about to proceed with me to the imperial palace.  People discreetly dropped their eyes before my proud gaze, and into their hearts I know I forced the query, What manner of man can this mortal be?  I was superior to convention, and the very garb which otherwise would have damned me tended toward my elevation.  And all this was due, not to my royal lineage, nor to the deeds I had done and the champions I had overthrown, but to a certain hogskin belt buckled next the skin.  The sweat of months was upon it, toil had defaced it, and it was not a creation such as would appeal to the aesthetic mind; but it was plethoric.  There was the arcanum; each yellow grain conduced to my exaltation, and the sum of these grains was the sum of my mightiness.  Had they been less, just so would have been my stature; more, and I should have reached the sky.

And this was my royal progress through that most loyal city.  I purchased a host of things from the tradespeople, and bought me such pleasures and diversions as befitted one who had long been denied.  I scattered my gold lavishly, nor did I chaffer over prices in mart or exchange.  And, because of these things I did, I demanded homage.  Nor was it refused.  I moved through wind-swept groves of limber backs; across sunny glades, lighted by the beaming rays from a thousand obsequious eyes; and when I tired of this, basked on the greensward of popular approval.  Money was very good, I thought, and for the time was content.  But there rushed upon me the words of Erasmus, “When I get some money I shall buy me some Greek books, and afterwards some clothes,” and a great shame wrapped me around.  But, luckily for my soul’s welfare, I reflected and was saved.  By the clearer vision vouchsafed me, I beheld Erasmus, fire-flashing, heaven-born, while I—­I was merely a clay-born, a son of earth.  For a giddy moment I had forgotten this, and tottered.  And I rolled over on my greensward, caught a glimpse of a regiment of undulating backs, and thanked my particular gods that such moods of madness were passing brief.