glades like the broadside of a man-of-war.  It took me a good five minutes before I had the courage to detonate another, which, for better security, I did this time under my hat.  I am not saying it did the hat any good, but it seemed safer and less deafening, and I accordingly went on in this manner until there were only about three whiteys left between me and Vesuvius, which I kept back, in accordance with tradition, for one big triumphant bang at the end.

I was in the act of touching my cigar to whitey number three,—­on my knees, I remember; and trying to arrange my hat so as to get the most muffling for the least outlay of burned felt, when the branches in front of me parted and I looked up to see—­well, simply the most beautiful woman in the world, regarding me with astonishment and anger.  She was about twenty, somewhat above the medium height, and her eyes were of a lovely flashing blue that seemed in the intensity of her indignation to positively emit sparks—­altogether the most exquisitely radiant and glorious creature that man was ever privileged to gaze upon.

“How dare you let off fireworks in this park?” she said, in a voice like clotted cream.

I rose in some confusion.

“Go directly,” she said, “or I’ll report you and have you summonsed!”

“I have only two more crackers and this volcano,” I said protestingly.  “Surely you would not mind——­”

“Don’t be insolent,” she said, “or I shall have no compunction in setting my dog on you.”

I looked down, and there, sure enough, rolling a yellow eye and showing his fangs at me, was a sort of Uncle Tom’s Cabin bloodhound only waiting to begin.

“The fact is,” I said, speaking slowly, so as to emphasise the fact that I was a gentleman, “I am an American; to-day is our national holiday; and we make it everywhere our practice to celebrate it with fireworks.  I would have done so in the road, but the island seemed so crowded this morning I couldn’t find an undisturbed place outside the park.”

Beauty was obviously mollified by my tone and respectful address.

“Please leave the park directly,” she said.

I put the crackers in my pocket, took up my hat, placed the Haetna Volcano under my arm, and stood there, ready to go.

“Accept my apologies,” I said.  “Whatever my fault, at least no discourtesy was intended.”

We looked at each other, and Beauty’s face relaxed into something like a smile.

“Just give me one more minute for my volcano,” I pleaded.

“You seem very polite,” she returned.  “Yes, you can set it off, if that will be any satisfaction to you.”

“It’ll be a whole lot,” I said, “and since you’re so kind perhaps you’ll let me include the crackers as well?”