Young waiting damsel to attend her;
All which appearing, on she went,
To find the Knight in limbo pent. 100
And ’twas not long before she found
Him, and the stout Squire, in the pound;
Both coupled in enchanted tether,
By further leg behind together
For as he sat upon his rump, 105
His head like one in doleful dump,
Between his knees, his hands apply’d
Unto his ears on either side;
And by him, in another hole,
Afflicted Ralpho, cheek by jowl; 110
She came upon him in his wooden
Magician’s circle on the sudden,
As spirits do t’ a conjurer,
When in their dreadful shapes th’ appear.
No sooner did the Knight perceive her,
115
But straight he fell into a fever,
Inflam’d all over with disgrace,
To be seen by her in such a place;
Which made him hang his head, and scoul,
And wink, and goggle like an owl.
120
He felt his brains begin to swim,
When thus the dame accosted him:
This place (quoth she) they say’s enchanted,
And with delinquent spirits haunted,
That here are ty’d in chains, and scourg’d,
125
Until their guilty crimes be purg’d.
Look, there are two of them appear,
Like persons I have seen somewhere.
Some have mistaken blocks and posts
For spectres, apparitions, ghosts,
130
With saucer eyes, and horns; and some
Have heard the Devil beat a drum:
But if our eyes are not false glasses,
That give a wrong account of faces,
That beard and I should be acquainted,
135
Before ’twas conjur’d or enchanted;
For though it be disfigur’d somewhat,
As if ’t had lately been in combat,
It did belong to a worthy Knight
Howe’er this goblin has come by’t.
140
When Hudibras the Lady heard
Discoursing thus upon his beard,
And speak with such respect and honour,
Both of the beard and the beard’s owner,
He thought it best to set as good
145
A face upon it as he cou’d,
And thus he spoke: Lady, your bright
And radiant eyes are in the right:
The beard’s th’ identic beard you knew,
The same numerically true:
150
Nor is it worn by fiend or elf,
But its proprietor himself.
O, heavens! quoth she, can that be true?
I do begin to fear ’tis you:
Not by your individual whiskers,
155
But by your dialect and discourse,
That never spoke to man or beast
In notions vulgarly exprest.
But what malignant star, alas
Has brought you both to this sad pass?
160