Print
Word
PDFTo pick out ground to incamp upon,
Where store of largest rivers run,
That serve, instead of peaceful barriers,
To part th’ engagements of their warriors;
Where both from side to side may skip, 345
And only encounter at bo-peep:
For men are found the stouter-hearted,
The certainer th’ are to be parted,
And therefore post themselves in bogs,
As th’ ancient
And made their mortal enemy,
The water-rat, their strict ally.
For ’tis not now, who’s stout and bold,
But who bears hunger best, and cold;
And he’s approv’d the most deserving, 355
Who longest can hold out at starving;
And he that routs most pigs and cows,
The formidablest man of prowess.
So th’ emperor Caligula,
That triumph’d o’er the British Sea, 360
Took crabs and oysters prisoners,
Lobsters, ’stead of cuirasiers,
Engag’d his legions in fierce bustles
With periwinkles, prawns, and muscles;
And led his troops with furious gallops, 365
To charge whole regiments of scallops
Not like their ancient way of war,
To wait on his triumphal carr
But when he went to dine or sup
More bravely eat his captives up; 370
And left all war, by his example,
Reduc’d to vict’ling of a camp well.
Quoth Ralph, By all that you have said,
And twice as much that I cou’d add,
’Tis plain you cannot now do worse,
375
Than take this out-of-fashion’d course;
To hope, by stratagem, to woo her,
Or waging battle to subdue her
Though some have done it in romances,
And bang’d them into amorous fancies;
380
As those who won the amazons,
By wanton drubbing of their bones;
And stout
By courting of her back and side.
But since those times and feats are over,
385
They are not for a modern lover,
When mistresses are too cross-grain’d
By such addresses to be gain’d;
And if they were, wou’d have it out
With many another kind of bout.
390
Therefore I hold no course s’ infeasible,
As this of force to win the Jezebel;
To storm her heart, by th’ antick charms
Of ladies errant, force of arms;
But rather strive by law to win her,
395
And try the title you have in her.
Your case is clear; you have her word,
And me to witness the accord
Besides two more of her retinue
To testify what pass’d between you;
400
More probable, and like to hold,
Than hand, or seal, or breaking gold;
For which so many, that renounc’d
Their plighted contracts, have been trounc’d
