Who, by their precedents of wit,
T’ out-fast, out-loiter, and out-sit,
Can order matters underhand,
To put all bus’ness to a stand; 900
Lay publick bills aside for private,
And make ’em one another drive out;
Divert the great and necessary,
With trifles to contest and vary;
And make the Ration represent, 905
And serve for us, in Parliament
Cut out more work than can be done. 
In Plato’s year, but finish none;
Unless it be the Bulls of LENTHAL,
That always pass’d for fundamental; 910
Can set up grandee against grandee,
To squander time away, and bandy;
Make Lords and Commoners lay sieges
To one another’s privileges,
And, rather than compound the quarrel, 915
Engage to th’ inevitable peril
Of both their ruins; th’ only scope
And consolation of our hope;
Who though we do not play the game,
Assist as much by giving aim:  920
Can introduce our ancient arts,
For heads of factions t’ act their parts;
Know what a leading voice is worth,
A seconding, a third, or fourth
How much a casting voice comes to, 925
That turns up trump, of ay, or no;
And, by adjusting all at th’ end,
Share ev’ry one his dividend
An art that so much study cost,
And now’s in danger to be lost, 930
Unless our ancient virtuosos,
That found it out, get into th’ Houses. 
These are the courses that we took
To carry things by hook or crook;
And practis’d down from forty-four, 935
Until they turn’d us out of door
Besides the herds of Boutefeus
We set on work without the House;
When ev’ry knight and citizen
Kept legislative journeymen, 940
To bring them in intelligence
From all points of the rabble’s sense,
And fill the lobbies of both Houses
With politick important buzzes: 
Set committees of cabals, 945
To pack designs without the walls;
Examine, and draw up all news,
And fit it to our present use. 
Agree upon the plot o’ th’ farce,
And ev’ry one his part rehearse, 950
Make Q’s of answers, to way-lay
What th’ other pasties like to say
What repartees, and smart reflections,
Shall be return’d to all objections;
And who shall break the master-jest, 955
And what, and how, upon the rest
Held pamphlets out, with safe editions,
Of proper slanders and seditions;
And treason for a token send,
By Letter to a Country Friend; 960
Disperse lampoons, the only wit
That men, like burglary, commit;
Wit falser than a padder’s face,
That all its owner does betrays;